LONGING FOR THE SIMPLE LIFE

I was asked today what I want most out of my life at the moment and without giving it much thought at all
- and by-passing the standard Brad Pitt/Jason Patrick/unlimited funds/health and happiness for my family answers
I think what I want, or maybe crave most in my life at the moment is simplicity.

From the moment Mark nudged me at 3 a.m. this morning because he needed to talk, up until i actually sat down after 5 this afternoon i felt like i was a moth buzzing up against a window, trying to reach that elusive light on the other side.

Today i felt frantic and out of control.

I think the fear of what the doctor will say to Mark next Friday is adding to the way I feel plus facing those damned demons

(and you will not win either, let me add in here - "I'm the boss of me now" - she says stamping her foot)

on a daily basis at the moment is draining me.
The meditation is helping and I find that spending time scrapping helps too.

I guess being at work today, earning a living to provide for my family and support Mark, when I would have much rathered been at home scrapping obviously wasn't condusive to having a feeling of calm.
But tomorrow is another day - a new day to seize a situation where I can take a baby step towards becoming the me i know i can be.
And another day for scrapping too.

Happy tomorrows to you all

~*~Shazz~*~

TODAY IS WEDNESDAY

Thanks to everyone who has seen these canvases and so kindly commented on them. The fact that Mark loved them really was enough for me but it's nice to get some positive feedback from fellow scrappers. Especially from people whose work I admire so much myself.

I toddled (or should that be waddled) off to the gym today. Wasn't as hard as my first session back on Monday but I know that I have lost some of the gains I had made.
But I know that I am taking steps in the right direction.

We had ANOTHER huge storm last night. I turned the computer off and settled down to read my latest issues of CK, SM and the Pommy scrapping mag I buy when suddenly the lights went off.
So armed with a torch I headed off to bed to read my CK by torchlight under the sheets - I felt like I was 12 again reading late into the night after Mum telling me I had to go to sleep. To add to the "excitement" the only torch I could find was one Mark bought Kait that has heaps of buttons on it that make spooky noises.

• EVIL LAUGH
• WOLF HOWL
• HELP CRY
• THUNDER STORM (like we needed MORE thunder noises)
• CREAKING DOOR
• WITCH CACKLE
• GHOST MOAN

Every time I moved I managed to hit one of the buttons. In the dead of night when there is no other noises around, hearing a "ghost moan" can be quite funny.
So I lay in bed, under the sheets, pushing the buttons (on purpose......hehe) and giggling like a 12 year old.
Ah.........the things that amuse small minds.

On the scrapping front, I have been trying frantically to get a LO finished of our Miss Kait. It features lots of yummy colours - lime, pinks, oranges and is a gorgeous, vibrant pic of her (with my big mug in the corner) taken a few years ago at the local park.
Using lots of my new AC ribbons, punched flowers that I have attached with French knots (I am proud to say I have revisited my old needlework books and retaught myself how to do them)
I have REALLY struggled with this one as I am "trying" to evolve my style into something else other than what it is. I am trying to think outside the square and finding that those darn lines are VERY hard to cross. I have given up on it tonight and come upstairs. I am working tomorrow so maybe the time away from it will give me fresh eyes to look at it.
I will share it with you when it is finished.

On a personal note, I can feel I am getting stronger and stronger within myself. I actually dealt with some stress tonight by just walking away. The time is coming where I will just avoid those situations that cause me to doubt myself and to beat myself up because of the way these situations make me feel.
And I will be strong enough to deal with those situations I can't avoid.
But my baby step for today was walking away from a potentially harmful situation
(*insert pride of oneself in here*)

Hoping you all have a great day tomorrow and that life throws some great things your way.

~Shazz~

OH HOW I LOVE........

• the smell in the air just before a storm breaks
• the smell of rain falling
• the smell of freshly washed sheets when you pull back the covers to crawl into bed
• the smell of a newborn baby
• freshly brewed coffee in the morning
• freshly mown grass
• the smell of my children as I lean over and kiss them goodnight

*SIGH*.........so many things to love with one's nose.

I started back at the gym today after three weeks break due to work and school holidays.
NOT A GOOD IDEA TO HAVE THREE WEEKS OFF MISSY
(make a mental note of that one)
I am positive all my joints and my back will stop aching once I am back into the swing of things - not sure when that will be but it is a good kind of ache.
The kind you can tolerate cause you know you are hurting for a good cause.

I also spent a lovely few hours (while waiting for the car to be serviced) hanging out at my LSS with Julie the owner looking at all the new products she has in, talking scrapping, looking through her HUGE mag collection and having a play with the new H2O paints - such pretty colours. I probably spent a little too much on PPs but geez......why must they look so good..?? One just has to buy them.

I ventured into Spotlight for their 20% off sale and picked Kait up some more pieces for her doll house that is her project with Mark. I will keep them aside for Christmas though.
Was also amazed and DELIGHTED to find that Spotlight now stocks AC ribbons and at a good price too with the sale on. I picked up some colour combos I didn't have so I was pretty chuffed with myself.

Time to head off to bed for me. Our friend Graeme is coming to clean our carpets tomorrow so I have to be up early to get the floor vacuumed and everything picked up off the floor.

Happy days everybody
~Shazz~

A CURIOUS THING.....

What a curious thing is the human mind. I have so much running through mine at the moment - mainly scrap related and trying to visualise LOs and work out how to get those LOs out of my head and onto paper and looking the same.
But I also have been thinking.....

• about magpies and how I haven't seen them swooping this year yet.
• about how cruel I felt this morning killing the wasps who had made a nest on my clothes line - but it's you or me guys.....one bite from you and I will need hospitalisation
• how shallow Mark's parents are thinking that spending all THAT money on a car makes them better people - actually I think sitting down and "really" talking and listening to their grandchildren would make them better people.
• about how deliciously amazing the new tarisota website is and just how amazing it would be to have the innate ability to make something look THAT appealing to others
• about how much amazing talent is out there and how blessed I feel that through the wonders of technology I can access it at the stroke of a keyboard
• how I pray that this counsellor can help me cleanse my life and renew my soul.....I am just so over feeling so broken and so alone in a room full of people

Just so many things running through my mind........no wonder it is hard to sleep some nights.

In Rozzie and Shari's blogs that have asked us to "Google" our names followed by the word "needs".
Apparently I need the following things.......................

1. a slap (why??)
2. some affirmative action
3. more furniture and computing equipment
4. to tell Chris to lose the hairstyle (who's Chris??)
5. to have a little memory jogging (what did I forget??)

Thanks to Shari and Trish for your kind words after my last blog and to the ever-fabulous Marie for your absolutely gorgeous email.
It's nice to know I have some people out there who care.
Till next time
~Shazz~

DON'T FORGET TO BREATHE.

I have certainly had a week of it.
Without going into too much detail (details can be so messy, don't you think?) this week has been a turning point in my life.
I have had to stop and take stock of where I am, where I am going and trying to forget where I have been.
One of my passions is collecting inspirational quotes and verses and writings. I print them up, put them in a folder and read over them (even use them for scrapping) So many of the verses encourage one to look to the future, don't dwell on the past and in a blinding flash of realisation this week, I now know that I have been allowing my past to control and shape the person I am today.
I use the abuse I suffered as a child as an excuse to overeat, to beat myself up over how I look and how I react to certain situations, to justify allowing people to be rude to me and use me.
I am not doing my husband any favours by being like this, I am not doing my children any good being like this and I am certainly not doing myself any good by continuing to allow the past shape who I am today.
I have taken the first steps to getting some long overdue counselling for the issues that have haunted me for decades and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. What a feeling of release and empowerment. And as a very very dear friend said to me on Tuesday night -
"You need to remember to breathe again Shazzie. Because when you start to breathe then you will start to live again."
And he was right......it's like I have been holding my breath for so long, waiting for things to get better on their own. If I just allow myself to breathe I can start to live again and live the life that I deserve. I am NOT the bad, worthless person I was repeatedly told I was as child. I am a good, kind, caring person and I deserve happiness, love and strength in my life.
So thank you my friend for reminding me to breathe.....love ya lots and you know I do *wink*.

On a brighter note, Kait competed in the trials for a place at the Nationals for Physie on Sunday in Coffs Harbour. Once we got the hair right and the leotard sitting right her her tiny little bottom and she got out there and strutted her stuff, it didn't really matter that the judges didn't see what Mark and I saw through our teary eyes - our little princess out there, keeping perfect time, smiling and just having a ball.
We were so very proud of her and she was just beaming as she marched off the floor with her certificate and participation medal in hand. Love you baby girl - Daddy and I are so very very proud of you.

Jakey's drum playing took another step up this week - from "how hard can I bash these drums and how much noise can I make", to noise with rhythm to me stopping dusting mid-swipe just to listen to him play. I am sure the neighbours appreciate his perserverance too.

Matt continues to struggle with between being a teenager and despite denying it, missing being at school with his mates, to living life according to the dictates of a boss and an alarm clock. He rushes out of bed 20 minutes before he gets into the car to go off to work - hair not done, breakfast not eaten and forgets his lunch. He has a steep learning curve to climb but I am sure he will get there. Gotta have faith Mark and I have instilled the values in him that he needs to get him through life and gotta have faith that he has actually listened to what we have taught him.

My last day as a fulltime working girl tomorrow after two weeks of full time work. It has been a struggle - juggling family. work, other committments and let's not forget scrapping. Don't know how you fulltime working girls do it and I don't know that I have done it all that well but the money will come in handy with yet ANOTHER tax installment due next week.

So much for a short post......LOL
Til next time ~Shazz~

WARNING

This is a blog update
~Shazz~

MARRIED TO AN OLD GUY.....LOL

Yesterday was Mark's 41st birthday. And I was so shocked that he didn't handle turning 41 very well at all. He was in a bad mood from when he first woke up and it got progrssively worse through the day. He was short with the kids, short with our staff, short with the people who called to wish him a happy birthday and not real cheery to the clients that called - and this is SOOOOO unlike him.
To see him like this was such a shock to me because he is always such a happy person. He is the positive balance to my almost manic highs and lows in life.
He jumped down my throat as soon as I walked in the door at work yesterday and after 10 minutes of me fighting bcak the tears I just walked out because I honestly just couldn't handle seeing him like that. It was awful. I did come back to work after I went home and cooled off but you could have cut the air with a knife while I was at work.
He came home early yesterday and I was still so upset but we sat and talked about it and got the air cleared. I realised how selfish I have been to expect him to be there for me when I am low but I couldn't do the same for him when he needed to have a bad day. It's just a shame that he picked his birthday to have a bad day.
So we did the birthday cake thing this morning. I know that with the boys being older and Mark never really being one for birthdays, it can be hard to make a big deal out of them but Kait loves the whole birthday thing so we did the cake this morning - she helped light the candles for the first time and sang "Happy Birthday" at the top of her lungs. It must be so nice to 9 years old and so untouched by so many of the bad things in this world.
Today is Kait's last Physie class for the year. I will miss socialising with the Mum's at the lessons (well some of them anyways). Kait has really enjoyed her time at Physie and made some really lovely little friends. After the comp in Coffs on Sunday she will have a break until next February. I am hoping she wants to go back to it as I feel she has some real potential at the "sport".
This weekend is the SAM retreat at Mt Tambourine. I am sad that I had to (well actually chose to) sell my ticket and will miss meeting so many of the ASC girls who will be there. I am sure they will have a blast though - how could you be there and NOT have fun....???? Take lots of pics girls and try to get some scrapping done.
I also want to say that I hope that Shari and Steve find a buyer soon for their house. Geez, if I had to $$$s I would buy it cause I reckon it would be a great house as an investment. I know how heart-wrenching it can be finding the home of your dreams and you just can't sell your fast enough. When we found this house after months and months of looking I just "knew" that this was the house we had always dreamed of and it seemed to take forever to sell our other home. The fact it sold in the final hours of the time we had to sign for this one was the most stressful time for us. So fingers crossed for you guys.....keep the faith. There is a family out there somewhere I am sure.
Til next time...........
~Shazz~

FRIENDSHIP

What an elusive thing is this thing we call friendship.
Some people go through their lives happy to have aquaintances that are in their life for only a brief moment in time. Circumstances have brought these people together and they enjoy the friendship for what it is. They don't want the complication of a deep and lasting friendship with these people. And I have been an aqauintance to people during my life and I have had aqauaintances in my life too.
Others have many friends who come and go in their lives, always leaving a part of themselves behind when they leave. Sometimes what they leave are beautiful memories of a time spent with each other. Other times the parting is sad and angry and bitter and both people are forever changed because of the friendship and the way it ended.
And still others are happy to have a handful of lifetime friends that they can rely on no matter what. If one of them is going through a really rough time, the other will be there to comfort and support them. No demand is made on that person to "get over it". With the love and support of a close lifetime friend, most people can cope with whatever life throws at them, knowing that the friendship they share will be there.
What throws me, each and every time it happens, is when a friend just disappears from your life for no apparent reason. Your phone calls go unanswered, your emails and SMS's are ignored. You spend so much time and energy going over the last time you spoke or were together and you can't remember if you did or said anything that was hurtful or nasty. All you want is a chance to find out what went wrong and a chance to apologise if you have said or done the wrong thing.
Friendship lost like this is the hardest of all to bear. It is like losing someone through death because nothing you do can bring them back.
So you bite the bullet and jump in your car and go around to see them. The unanswered knock at the door as you see the curtains move is like the final death knell of the friendship. In my heart of hearts I know that this friendship is over. I know I have done everything to find out what went wrong. But it is those unanswered questions of what did go wrong that will eat away at my heart for probably the rest of my life.
I know that you read my blog, my friend. I just hope you can look back over our years of friendship and love and let me know what went wrong. It is not beneath me to say I am sorry if I have done or said the wrong thing. I hope it is not beneath you to contact me one last time and let me know what went wrong.
You were such an important part of my life for so many years and we shared so much together.
Be happy my friend, wherever your life takes you. What we have shared will take a lifetime to forget.

~Shazz~

SHOCK

I am yet again shocked to my core by the power of Mother nature in reminding us, as humans, that this world is just lent to us.
The population of the town I live in is approx. 30,000 and I find it impossible to fathom that that is the predicted death toll in the latest earthquake in Asia. Each time I catch my breath and accept these "hard-to-believe" death tolls Mother nature unleashes her fury again and we have another unbelieveable number of people dead. I just pray that help reaches these poor people soon - the news says that so many roads are blocked that relief is slow in getting to the worst affected areas.

On a brighter and SOOOOO exciting change of topic, I was just happy dancing all over the place with excitement and pride for all the ladies that I "know" who have been named Masters for SM. How exciting for you all and I am so very proud to call many of you "friend". Even more exciting is that many of them are ASC girls (or at least started their scrapping lives at ASC). Shari and Linda must be so proud also that their wonderful site has been the spring board that many of these very talented scrappers have used to go onto bigger and better things.
I am most proud of my friend Rozzie.....and I have told her so "several" times today......LOL. I have often commented to Shari that of all the ASC girls I have shared my scrapping journey with, I feel that Roz has matured and evolved the most in her style and confidence with trying new things. A well deserved accolade Roz - and one more time.....I am so VERY proud of you.

I have started my two weeks of working mornings while Tracey is on holidays. Seeing I usually manage to get my work done in the one day I normally work, there isn't much for me to do so I have taken my new Heidi Swapp handwriting book in to look through. I won't attempt to do the exercises because I think I will need to concentrate and that bloody phone keeps ringing. Funny thing that seeing we are trying to run a business.
I do get a chance to have a good look around some scrapping sites and I do lots of ASC and Craft Attic forum posting and gallery commenting. There are so many great scrappers out there. So much talent and inspiration.

Another day has been and gone.......until tomorrow

~Shazz~

BLAH !!!!!!

That pretty much sums up my day.
Wish I could be more positive about today but BLAH is a very good description.
I woke up in a great mood. I had grand plans to scrap and sort through some mags for my sister to have and spend some time with Dad. I did two loads of washing and hung it out and watched the start of Bathurst with Mark and Geoff, his brother and then BANG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The worst headache I have had since I had encephalitis 10 years ago (??) hit me and I was laid up pretty much for the rest of the day.
Mum and Jo, my sister arrived, right on lunchtime (surprise surprise) and proceeded to play happy families to impress Dad I guess. I just went and crawled into bed, shut the door and promptly went off to sleep. This resulted in Mum waking me to give me a serve about how rude I was which just compounded everything 100%. I jumped in the shower and proceeded to bawl my eyes out for 20 minutes. NOT GOOD for headache relief.
I took some panadeine about 2 and this knocked some of the wind out of the headache, enough for me to drag myself with Kait down to the shopping centre to buy her some goggles for her swimming lessons that start tomorrow.
Am just cooking dinner for Dad and Erica before they head off and then into bed for me.
I think these headaches are stress related and maybe something to do with my eyesight that seems to be getting worse by the day.
Tomorrow is another day.
Tomorrow WILL be a better day.
See you all tomorrow

~Shazz~

HOT & WINDY DAY

What an awful day it was here today weather wise. It was hot and windy and the smell of smoke is hanging heavily in the air. Mark, Kait and I did some sweeping and raking up of the copious amounts of leaves around the house and Mark swept some of the roof off but to be honest, if a fire rages up that gully I just think we will be just grabbing what we can and running for our lives. We are going to devise a plan of escape should a fire come our way - not likely but very possible - and put the kids through a drill. Scary stuff - especially seeing it isn't even summer yet!!!!!
I ducked into my LSS this morning to drop off my CJs as Julie is thinking of running a CJ group with the ladies she teaches. And walked out with the Heidi Swapp Handwriting Book, a HS mask, some HS photo corners (all at a VERY good price + 10% discount on a rewards card), some Prima flowers, two more pieces of PP I just had to have and some ribbon. Oh.....and an entry on the CC that will need hiding from Mark!!!!!! That damned HS handwriting book was on the counter and it was like those new twirl bread things on the ad on the telly....."BUY ME; BUY ME" it called.
What is a girl to do, I ask you......?????
I am looking forward to reading it and improving my handwriting to the point that I feel confident and proud to have it on a LO. I must admit I cringe when I use my own handwriting on a LO. Hopefully Heidi can get me over that hurdle.
Matt worked again this morning - 6 a.m. start which meant a 5 a.m. rise for me. He drove out to work and is hoping to go for his license in a few weeks. Must say I am dreading it but I can only hope the lessons that Mark and I have instilled in him are always in the back of his mind. The thought of him driving Jake and Kait anywhere is terrifying to me. It's not that I don't trust him - he is a bright, intelligent and sensible kid - but the thought of losing any of my kids in car accident just terrifies me to no end.
Dad and Erica arrived safely. It was so good to see them again. Dad is looking rather tired this visit and he talked at length about his retirement. I am sure after almost 40 years of long distance bus driving he needs a break. I just hope he can learn to relax and just enjoy his retirement. I know I am looking forward to seeing more of both him and Nanny a lot more.
Kait asked him would he be having a funeral when he retired.......???????
Somehow she has equated retirement to dying and thought poor old Dad was done for!!!!!!!!
I quickly set her straight and tried not to laugh at the look on Dad's face !!!!!!
Anyways, salad to make, kebabs to be BBQ'd so time for goodbye.
Happy scrapping one and all

Shazz xo

NAUGHTY NAUGHTY SHAZZIE

I need a very big boot up my very big bum.

I had every intention of blogging everyday - or at least every second day - mainly because I thought it was something easy that I could make a habit before trying to tackle the bigger issues in my life that need addressing every day that I just don't seem to be able to get to. Things like housework, spending quality time with Mark and the kids, exercising, scrapping. *SIGH*
A lot has happened in the past 10 days but I shall not bore you with all the mundane details. Just a short outline of them ("AH YES".......I hear you all sigh)

• Mark and I attended the wedding of our friend's son in Brisbane. Dan and Lucy's wedding was one of the nicest weddings I have ever been to. The setting at Stuartholme on Mt Cootha was spectacular, everything was perfect, we got to spend time with dear friends - lots of laughs, reminiscing, good food, dancing, WAYYYY too much champagne and a ripper of a hangover all day Sunday and into Monday to remind me that I should never drink champagne again (well maybe not for a while)
• Mark and I got to spend some long overdue time together - just him and I - as we drove to Brisbane for the wedding and spent the night at the Novatel in the City. Mark's brother and his wife kindly looked after the kids for us - a great opportunity for all our kids to get together and have some fun. Geoff took them "skurfing" on Saturday (a surfboard is towed behind a boat and the kids try to stand up) and they all had a great time. The only casualty of the day - Geoff's mobile phone that somehow ended up in the esky with the cold drinks and all the ice.
• My mighty Tigers won the Grand Final Sunday night. I really wanted to be excited and jump around and do the happy dance but I quietly sat there and allowed them to spin their magic and I "quietly" cheered for them once the game was over. Hangovers are such a BITCH.
  
• I have had to go into work this week to cover for Tracey our salesgirl who is off with some mystery virus. Not sure how Mark thought I could cover for her as I have not one single clue about where to get prices or what someone wants when they ring up asking for "extra RAM for a DDI-OD motherboard with wireless connection" but I muddled my way through. It's great having such a small client base that most of them are understanding when Miss Dunderhead (that would be me folks!!) answers the phone and their questions are met by stunned silence.
• Scrapping wise I have been slack also......I need time to scrap. I head off to my room in the garage to scrap and next thing you know I am called to referree World War 65 between Jake and Kait. Or Matt has "lost" his denim shorts and needs them yesterday and he is positive I have them ("no Matt, they are on the floor of the bathroom where they have been for the last three days"). Or Mum is on the phone telling me how bad her life is and somehow it is my fault. Or a bloody telemarketer wants to sell me roller shutters/raffle tickets/clean my carpets. I need uninterupted time to scrap. My inspiration and talent can't cope with constant interuptions.
• I also bit the bullet this week and submitted a LO to FK for the "never published" LOs section. Got the obligatory "thanks for submitting" email but I don't really think it will be accepted. But you know.....that's ok too.
• Dad and Erica are arriving tomorrow to attend a wedding. It will be good to see them again and I know that the kids are looking forward to some "Grandad and Nanny time". And I am having my niece and nephew stay over tomorrow night also so we will be packed to the rafters. But I don't mind really. It's nice to have family around - especially family that just wants to love us and be with us and not pass judgement on everything we do and say.
  

So that is my week in review. Gripping reading I bet.
Have a great weekend if you are still reading this.
~Shazz~

ALL ALONE....WELL......KINDA...!!!

*SIGH*.......I am sitting here all alone....well not really.
Kait is sleeping on the lounge and my two "shadows", Molly and Tilly, are at my feet (I could do without the farting though thanks Miss Molly - EWWWW!!); Matt and Jake are at an Under 18's concert in Ballina and Mark is working late AGAIN. He ducked into home for a quick bite to eat, we discussed his great-aunt's funeral that we attended today, we talked about what we need to organise for the wedding we are attending this weekend and then he was gone again.
I KNOW the business needs this contract, I KNOW it is almost finished and ready for an upload, I KNOW he isn't stressed like he was when we had the dealerships; I KNOW he loves what he does but boy.....am I over these long hours. I miss having him around, the kids miss their Dad being at home - Kait especially - I hate having to make all the decisions regarding the kids and the house and our lives because I hate to bother him with such trivialities like bills, leaky toilets, etc. I hate the fact he is just so tired when he gets home that he sits on the lounge to unwind and he is still there hours later because I hate to wake him once he is asleep and getting some well-earned rest.
Oh dear......well that's my whinge and whine out of the way. We are luckier than a lot of families out there who are struggling to make ends meet. At least we can pay our bills, put food on the table and I can still have the occasional scrapping shopping splurge and not feel too guilty about it. For all these things and the love of my family I am so very grateful.
As I said, my boys have headed off to an Under 18's concert tonight. Initially I said they couldn't go as I wasn't taking them and I don't know the boy who Matt has organised to bring them home again but after they called Mark and discussed things calmly with him, as opposed to their over-protective Mum, off they went.
I never thought that I would be so nervy and over-protective about them when the time came for them to start driving and be driven around by friends. Losing any of my children in a car accident is my absolute greatest fear in life. I have witnessed the devastation first-hand that comes with losing a child and I would not wish that kind of pain and grief on my worst enemy. Just stay safe guys. I hope the lessons we have drummed into them as they have grown up about not getting into cars with friends who have been drinking or taking drugs, or who they know are silly behind the wheel has sunk in. Please dear God protect my boys. Oh dear......that's all a bit grim.
On a brighter note I FINALLY got Mark's canvases finished that were supposed to be for him for Father's Day. I am so chuffed with them and I hope that he will be too. I hid them in the cupboard with his socks and undies so when he came home from work and got changed he would find them. ROTFL......he came home, didn't get changed and hasn't found them as yet. I hope Mr Blogger is being nice and letting me upload pics again in the next few days so I can share them.
Well that's all for now. You can wake up and turn off your computers now......LOL
~Shazz~

DO I NEED A NOTE...???

It has been a while. We have had a household full of ill children. Kait started vomiting on Wednesday night about 11 p.m. and by 3 a.m. we were so concerned that we called the hospital, only be told that there were no beds in A&E for her, no beds in kids ward and the best they could offer us was to sit in the waiting room with her and they would monitor her. YEAH RIGHT !!!!! By 7 a.m. Thursday she was only vomiting ever hour or so and gradually through the day she managed to keep down more and more water and a small amount of apple juice. It was terrifying to see just how much weight she had lost by Thursday night and Mark was so shocked when he got home from work.
I FINALLY got all the sheets, towels, dirty clothes washed, folded and ironed today.
Friday I had my hair done (lighter colour and some blonde streaks which I am SO loving the look of) and asked Mum to come up and look after Kait for me. You would swear I had asked Mum to cut off her right arm. I will know next time just to change my appointment rather than ask her to do anything for me.
Jakey started throwing up Friday night so it was another night of broken sleep. I don't miss that part of having children I can tell you.
Both the kids are both on the mend. The big challenge now is to get Kaitlyn eating again and hopefully put some of the weight back on that she dropped. She was so disappointed to miss her friends party on Saturday - she had even bought new party clothes to wear but I have promised that she can get together with Lily in the second week of the holidays.
Well my mighty Tigers have done it.....!!!! Into the Grand Final next Sunday. And just how excited was I. Mark was at a soccer presentation so it was only Jakey and I up watching the game. Jake was more amused at watching me squealing and jumping up an down in my seat than watching the game. I can only hope against hope the boys haven't hit their peak but it will be a great game. Would be fantastic to have been able to get tickets to go.
Today I scrapped a couple of journals for........well....that's a surprise.....LOL. I am looking forward to actually scrapping some LOs soon. There always seems to be something else to do. With Christmas looming I am trying to get myself organised and get some gifts scrapped early. After being so ill last Christmas, I would ove to avoid that last minute rush.
Enough of a rant for now.
~Shazz~

"HUMP DAY" - LOL

My darling step-Dad (miss you everday Pa) used to call Wednesdays "hump day" - I always thought it was a tad rude and honestly thought when I was younger that Wednesdays was when you had sex......OMG....how naive was I......LOL But hey....if I tell Mark what Wednesdays are really for well.....you just never know......LOL
I posted off my CJ for Craft Attic DT CJ today. Don't know that I am all that happy with it but that's what I get for changing my topic late last week when the posting day was last Friday. Well it's done now.
I went off to the gym again today. My knee is playing up again and I am glad I have done my three sessions for this week and I will be able to just do some light exercise for the next few days. Monday is weigh-in day.......EEK !!!!!....not expecting much of the lard to have disappeared though..
Paid our tax bill today........my hand shook having to write a cheque that big and then was told by the bloody accountant that he had got the amount wrong and we owed ANOTHER $4000. Bloody hell.......I am so sick of paying tax. Who said having a trust fund was a good thing....???
Off to work tomorrow....I am hoping that my warranty payments have arrived so I can call them off the books. The company we deal with is so random with their payment schedule. Will be good to spend the day at work with Tracey again....we always manage to have a good laugh.
Matt worked 7 hours out at the Macadamia plant today. He hasn't said much about it though.
Kait and Jakey are counting down the days until school holidays start. I must admit I love the holidays too.....no school run although the after-school training runs will still go on for a few more weeks yet. Kait has lots of things on "her list" that she wants to do.
Well thats it for another day.
Until next time.....take care everyone.
~Shazz~

"not much of anything" kinda day

Today was just another day. Mark took Kait off to school for me this morning as he had to take my car in to get the damage fixed that I caused when I took it 4WDing in the floods. I look at that part of the road that has been washed away (and STILL NOT FIXED 3 mths later!!!) and can't believe that I am alive or that I didn't get hurt. Scary stuff.
I went off to the gym - man was it busy. I think we are all emerging from our winter hibernation and discovering how tight our summer clothes are.
I received my "Relay for Life" kit - I am looking forward to participating in it. Not only because I will be particiapting with a great group of ladies but because it will be my way of remembering Pa and his battle with cancer. I suspect more than one of us will do our laps in tears.
I am sorry I will be missing The Craft Attic retreat but unfortunately I had committed to the Relay before the retreat was announced.
I hope to scrap tonight as I have a CJ due to be sent out..... er......today actually......LOL. Not a good start to a new CJ group but I did change my topic last Thursday and have had to start from scratch again. Oh well, it will get done I am sure.
Kait's school had Pizza Day today. Years 4, 5 and 6 are away on their Canberra excursion and Di, Kait's teacher and Sue, the K/1 teacher decided to treat the kids that were still at school. I offered to deliver the pizzas and I felt like Santa Claus when I arrived at school with them. All the kids came running up to the fence, cheering and clapping. It was so funny. The kids all enjoyed their pizzas anyway and have asked when another one will be held. A great way to raise a bit of money - we made $30.00 just from the pizza sales, which is no mean feat for our little school.
Anyways, time to head off and do the veges for dinner.
Thanks for reading if you are still here
~Shazz~

BEAUTIFUL DAY.

What a gorgeous spring day it was today. The strong winds have gone and although the gardens and pavers are a mess from the leaves that have accumulated on them, it was so nice just to be outside and watching the kids race the billycart up and down the street (well with my hands over my eyes and peeking through.....LOL) I love living in a cul-de-sac and most of the people who live at the end of the street know to look, not only for our kids but all the others in the street too.
Matt, Jake and Kait had the best time with their cousins Eden and Zac. The boys all piled into Matt's room last night (now devoid of a bed until we buy him a new one) + Matt's friend Nick and watched DVDs all night. Eden and Kaitlyn played board games and danced to CDs. It's so great to see them all getting on.
I managed to do most of the housework by 9.30 this morning and I clippered Mark's hair so I was hoping that the rest of the morning would be spent scrapping. Don't know why I only managed to do half an hour but I hope to get back into my scrap room tonight. And I was not happy with what I did do so I will have to rethink my strategy for the LO I think.....hmmmm
Mark and I watched "The Best of the Footy Show 2004" DVD this afternoon. I laughed so hard I fell off the lounge and tears were streaming down my cheeks. Mark was laughing just as hard. If you ever need a "pick-me-up" get a copy and watch it. That "Vomitron" segment is just hilarious.
Then I watched my MIGHTY TIGES beat the Broncos in the footy. I was home alone when the game was on so I was happy dancing around the loungeroom and squealing with delight - don't know what any passers-by must have thought. And I don't much care.....LOL. Fingers crossed that we beat the Dragons next week and then onto the Grand Final........gotta be happy with that.
Back to the gym tomorrow. I was naughty and only went twice last week but hoping to get back into a routine AND back walking now that the weather is warming up and the mornings aren't so dark when the alarm goes off at 5.45 a.m.
Hope you all have a great tomorrow.
~Shazz xo

What a wild and windy night we had last night. It is the very first time since moving here that Mark and I have actually had concerns about the gum trees that surround us on three sides. They were groaning and creaking for most of the night. Thankfully all the limbs stayed where they should be - in the trees - but it made for a long night as we lay awake listening to them creak away.
I took Matt down to visit the "new" girlfriend this morning and while he was "visiting" I went and saw Di, my SIL and had a coffee with her. Di and I have so much more in common than just marrying two brothers. We are both "Southies" (South Lismore girls), Di was one of my sister's friends at school and our MIL hates us both....LOL. It was so good catching up and having a good old chin wag with her. Goeff, Di, Mark and I don't get together as often as we should or would like but we always have a great time when we do.
I took Kait shopping for some clothes today. She chose a new skirt and top, some boxers and got a couple of little bra and knicker sets (my boobs are gonna be big like yours soon Mum" she informs me) and also a nice little pair of dressy flip flops. I was adding it up to see if I had the cash in my wallet to buy them or if I had to use the plastic and when I said out loud "$55.00 - I will have to use the plastic" she looked up at me and smiled and said "But worth every cent Mum". And yeah....she's right...SHE IS!!
I have brought my nephew Zac and my niece Eden back to stay the night with us. The kids all get on so well and Zac has gone off soccering with the lads and Eden and Kait have asked for a Maccas and DVD night - too easy.
Am hoping to scrap tonight as the day didn't produce any time for scrapping. Between housework, chauffering, shopping and catching up on emails - the day just seemed to escape me.
Until next time

Shazz xo

Been A While

Well despite my good intentions of "blogging" every day I have managed to miss a few - no excuses though.....it just got pushed to the bottom of the list of "things-to-do".
I have managed to get some scrapping done in the past few days - I have three canvases that I had every intnetion of completing for Mark for Father's Day but as usual my intentions stayed just that....intentions. But I have completed the two of the boys and will have the one of Kait done by tomorrow afternoon. Has been hard working on them when Mark is at home as he often brings me a coffee down in my scrapping room so I had to be careful that he didn't see them.
Kait had a TBall carnival today. Took some great shots of her which was difficult seeing she was just so out of sorts today. She did brighten up this afternoon once she received an invite from her friend Lily to a pool party next weekend. She is really looking forward to that.
I was amazed however at the rudeness that some of the children from the other schools displayed....the language and attitude that came out of their mouths was shocking and to have their teachers and parents standing there and not say a thing was even more so.
So I took off my "parent helper hat" and put on my "teacher hat" and let fly. I won't profess to our little school of 84 not having it's fair share of problems and difficult kids but at least most of the kids show a level of respect to adults, their parents and teachers. One little "darling" from another school was tripping our kids over as they ran past between bases, swearing at them ("You call that a F*CKIN' hit - and I kid you not here people) and generally being a very unpleasant little boy - and we are talking a 10 yr old child here. So I sent him from the field......next I had his teacher over telling me that I couldn't send "his" pupil from the field and a "discussion" ensued. Thankfully Kait's principal came over and defended me as I wasn't the only person who had witnessed this little boy's behaviour. I was just dumbfounded that this kid (and others too I might add) were swearing in full earshot of their teacher and the teacher did nothing about it !!!!!
Aside from that....Kait had a great day - hit some home runs (or "homers" as the kids called them....LOL), got some people out, socialised with some friends and I did my fair share of socialising with the other Mums too......lots of laughs and a chance to catch up on all the goss.
Matt has fallen madly in love again.....I get to meet the young lady tomorrow when I drive him to watch her play netball. He still hasn't found work and Mark and I have told him that he needs to find "direction" in his life or he will have to go back to school. Naturally that was well received by him..........NOT !!!! he is keen to get his licence now so maybe that will give him something to focus on.
Jakey received his SNAP test results on Wednesday. He scored in the top 2% in the State. Naturally we are so proud of him but he takes it all in his stride - he's just that kind of kid.
Anyways, that's my lot for this blog. Thanks for reading if you got this far.
Til next time

~Shazz~

Out of sorts

I had every intention of posting yesterday but it was just one of those days when I wanted life to move at a certain speed but the world seemed to be going in slow motion.
I went off to the gym but it was pushing jelly uphill with a toothpick trying to get myself motivated and the harder I tried to get myself into that "this is fun" mindset the more my brain said "Pass the Timmy Tams".
Today was much the same but I guess the one saving grace is that it is a 30 minute workout and then that's it for the day. The girls are all so encouraging and inspirational down there though and there is none of that "look at me" mentality there.
It wasn't until I was cooking dinner last night that I realised that yesterday would have been my darling Nana's 84th birthday had she still been with us. I always cooked Nana dinner on her birthday or took her out for lunch which she loved. She loved getting all tizzied up, putting on her beads and throwing on a bit of lippie and allowing me to treat her to a slap up lunch somewhere. Just so you know Nana, I think of you often, I love you and I miss you. I would give anything to have just one more moment with you just to feel your arms around me and to tell you how much I love you. I am sure that you know, wherever you are that you are the reason for my still being here and for my being able to cope with certain things in my life. And I am sure with all my heart that you know that I love you and miss having you in my life.
Well, Matt has left school - for good this time. I was devastated when he made the decision last week and he knew it too. He tried talking to me about it but I didn't really want to hear what he had to say. Hence more friction and fighting in the house. Things came to a head yesterday morning and Mark left for work without saying goodbye, Matt locked himself in his room, and I just cried buckets and buckets of tears.
So I took my eyes off myself for a moment and I have now realised that we brought this young man up to make his own decisions, to be independent and to seek the best out of life for himself. And he believes that is what he is doing. So who am I to challenge that. After calmly talking things over last night, I have accepted that he has to walk the path he has chosen for himself and no matter how much I try I can't hold his hand, nor walk that path for him. But.........I will be walking a few steps behind him to help him up when he falls - that's what we Mum's do you know.
Anyway on that note, this saga is over and if you are still reading, thanks to all of you who have been nice enough to comment.
~Shazz~