DT APPLICATION LOs

here are the LOs i used in my DT application which was unsuccessful.
knocked my confidence a bit but when i saw the LOs of the girls who got in, i know why i wasn't successful.

my beautiful baby girl...believe it or not, this pic is actually B&W not sepia but the scanner wasn't playing nice the day i scanned it.

another LO of our gorgeous kait.

the cover of a mini album made using the cosmo cricket folded mini album (which i cut up because i couldn't get the stupid thing to lie right)

the back of the mini album

on seeing the mini album, jakey said, "that is so cool mum. making such a great little book about our family" - made me feel wonderful hearing him say that.
thanks again to marie and ruthy for their unwavering belief in me and their encouragement. love you both to bits.

enjoy your saturday.
don't forget to wind your clocks forward if you need to.
be safe and let those you love, know that you do.

~*~ shazz ~*~

THOUGHTS & PRAYERS

please pray for the families and friends of the four young men who will be buried over the next two days.

if you are so inclined, please pray for some peace for tyler, the young man who was driving. he will attempt to attend the four funerals of his "best buds".
this young man has such a heavy burden to come to terms with and to carry for the rest of his days. it is a burden that no one, especially such a young man, should ever have to carry.
threats have been made against him and his family and it has created so much division within the school community and the community as a whole.

our school will close for the day tomorrow, not only as a sign of respect, but allow the staff to grieve along with the students.
please pray for the staff at school to have the strength and support to help those children who need support. this tragedy will echo through our school for a long time to come, i feel.

please pray that the rumours and innuendo surrounding the accident will end and our community and our children can start to heal and move on from this tragedy.

please pray for mark and i to be strong enough to support our boys as they grieve and try to accept that death, even when it is someone so young, is an inevitable part of life and that life does go on.

please pray that the young people who have been touched by this tragedy can accept that it can happen to them; that they aren't bullet-proof and that accidents do happen and can be life changing.

i won't post again until i feel more settled myself. i feel that i have posted so many sad posts and i think (and sincerely hope) that after the funerals and some time alone with our boys, that mark and i will be able to help them move on with their lives and with our lives too.

i feel strongly motivated to scrap, although at the moment my heart really isn't in it.
i have a strong motivation to preserve the memories we have of our family and our lives and to live a life that offers love and happiness and opportunities to make more memories.

be safe dear friends.

~*~ shazz ~*~

THANK YOU

thank you everyone for leaving comments and for those of you who have sent emails.
and even though most of my "real life" friends don't read my blog, thank you to all of you who have called us over the past few days to check and see if our boys are ok.

it has been a rough few days. the grief in our community is tangible - most people knew the boys or members of their families or grandparents.

mark and i were talking this morning and we both agreed that the grief at the moment is like a sore...just when you think the bleeding has stopped, something will happen or something will be said and the scab is scratched off and the bleeding starts all over again.

matt and jake have been doing it tough. both the boys have gone through the full range of emotions associated with grief - tears, anger, questioning, sorrow.
i will be forever thankful to the school for the support they have given both our boys - even though matt is no longer at school he was part of the "music scene" at school that two of the boys were also part of.
his music teacher from school, "Miss J", has been amazing even though she is grieving herself. she saw him up at the memorial, which has sprung up at the front gate of the school, on monday and came straight down and took him up into the school for a few hours.
and i have been amazed by the support network both our boys have with their friends.
we have had their friends here at home a few times in the past few days or our boys have met at the homes of their friends. we always call the parents of the boys who come here just so we all know where our kids are.

the funerals of the boys will be held on friday and saturday. whether matt and jake go will be left up to them and at the moment they are saying they want to attend all four funerals. whether that happens, mark and i will leave it up to them and be there to support them.

i am sorry that this is another sad post.
but this is a very sad time for our family and our community.

~*~ shazz ~*~

GO HUG YOUR KIDS

it is 4 a.m.
it is dark and kind of chilly and i have given up on the idea of sleep.

my boys lost four of their mates yesterday in a senseless and tragic accident.
4 young, talented, well-liked young men who were someone's son, someone's brother, grandson, boyfriend, mate, student.
how corey, mitch, bryce and paul died is tragic but it has a chilling and eerie familiarity about it.
mark and i have both shaken our heads at the number of times matt has ferried a carload of kids to a party and we later learn they have ended up somewhere else - miles from where they said they were going.
or the number of times matt and jake have gone with other friends in their car to a party. we always check that the drivers have had their license for a while. we didn't let matt take anyone else in the car for a few months after he got his license.
and our boys are always sensible and on more than one occasion have called us to come and get them from a party because the person who they have hitched a ride with has had a few drinks and they don't feel comfortable getting in the car to come home.

but when you are young that feeling of invincibility rings loudly in your ears.
it won't happen to you.
you "know" how to drive.
it can't hurt to go just that little bit faster around the corner and hear your mates in the car with you cheer as the back of the car slides out.
you play your music this loud at home and how can it hurt having it this loud in the car?
i don't know the details of what caused the accident - the rumour mill has been working overtime in the past 24 hours as our boys have received phonecalls and messages saying one thing or the other was the cause.

but roads get wet; they are dark; "i didn't know that the tyres needed replacing"; maybe you aren't as familiar with the bends and twists of the road as you thought you were.
and in an instant, four young, bright, talented lives cease and the life of one young man has been irrevocably changed forever.
and i feel guilt at the overwhelming relief that my sons weren't in the car.

i don't know what else to say...it is tragic, senseless and all to chillingly familiar a scenario being played out in the lives of communities all around australia, all to often.

go hug your kids

~*~ shazz ~*~

THANK YOU

look what arrived in my mailbox on the weekend.


not sure how i got a mail delivery on a saturday but i suspect that it was delivered to the wrong address
(we get a lot of mail for the folks at number 9 in the next street over and they often get our mail)
and it has taken them a few days to get it around to us.
so thank you so much ruth from way over there in NZ...your thoughtfuness and your sentiments in the card are greatly appreciated at what was a tough time for me.

i have been doing lots of scrapping but none i can really share just yet.
as some of you know, i am applying for a DT position and i have to have some new work to show. i have been frantically TRYING to scrap, and have managed to get some LOs together that i am actually quite pleased with.
and for those of you who know me, i have very little confidence in my ability to produce great scrapping so for me to say i am pleased is kinda a big deal....LOL
my most heartfelt thanks for marie and ruthy for cyber-kicking my butt to apply for the DT position and your continued support.
you gals are "THE BEST!!!"

i took kait and two friends to see "the wild" today....it was a great movie and the girls thoroughly enjoyed it
(as did the Mummy who was forced to sit up the back away from them)
i thankfully got a movie discount card so it only cost me $9.00 for each ticket - man it has become expensive for a trip to the movies these days.

anyways....my darling man is home so it is time for me to go and spend sometime with him.
a happy tuesday to you all

~*~ shazz ~*~
xox

OUR VISITOR & "GO JAKEY"

we had a few visitors drop by on sunday afternoon in the lead up to the the NRL grand final
(and let's NOT discuss the outcome of that game thanks)
we also ended up with a houehold full of teenagers
(our boys, our nephew, and about 7 of their mates)
to watch the game...just lit the barbie and fed them all sausages on bread - they were happy and the washing up was kept to a minimum.

i was hanging out the clothes when this not-so-little fella dropped by.
(he was about 6 feet long)


i don't know what was funnier....nanny tearing up stairs onto the balcony like the devil himself was after her just to get as far away from him as possible
or
dad jumping up and down like a girl screaming - and i mean screaming!!!
"kill it, kill it, hit it with a shovel"
i thought it was hilarious and let's face it....he was only a carpet snake and he was in the neighbour's courtyard and there was no way he was gonna cause anyone any grief as long as we left him alone.

mark has had the bike out for a spin a few times in the last couple of weeks so when dad spotted it he thought he would like a ride.
dad always rode a bike before he had an almost fatal accident back in 1979.
so with nanny telling him not to get on it, and with a gleam in his eye he hopped on and putt-putted around our estate...we could hear him in the streets behind us only because he didn't get it out of second gear...!!!
but he did have the biggest grin on his face when he got off.


kait decided she wasn't gonna miss out so she jumped on behind mark and he took her for a little ride up and down our street.


she had such a "daddy's girl" weekend with mark....they washed the cars, played euchre,
(which mark taught a few weeks ago and i don't think he has beaten her since)
rubbed back and resanded the balcony table and just hung out together. it did them both the world of good.


i scrapped a few LOs over the weekend but i am planning to apply for a DT position in the next week or so, so i won't be sharing them just yet.
i don't think i stand a chance of getting a position but hey.....i am going to give it a go. you just NEVER know.

and lastly...jakey has trialled for the Under 19 Far North Coast Football (soccer) rep team. they had one only trial last night and mark said jakey - who is ONLY 15 i might add - held his own with the older boys.
a few of the boys that he used to play with were quite rude when the coaches asked what team he played for and he said he started most games with the Stars Prems reserve side but also played for the Prems team when they were short. they laughed and called out "in your dreams" when the coaches asked what team jake had played for this year.
thankfully some of the older boys that he had played against told the coaches that he had indeed played in Prems Reserves and for Prems.
and i think his game play and skills spoke volumes to the coaches anways.
now we just have to wait for the phonecall saying yes or no. if anything keeps him out of the side it will probably be his lack of bulk...he is tall but still very lean.

well that's my lot for today...hoping to get some more scrapping done today.
kait is going for a sleepover with a friend from physie tonight. she is so looking forward to it.

enjoy your day
~*~ shazz ~*~
xo

GUESS WHAT I FOUND OUT...???

MARK HAS A MISTRESS...!!!

and he loves her so much;
he wants to spend as much time with her as he can, alone, just the two of them;
he always looks so gorgeous when he goes out with her;
he looks lovingly at her as he rubs his hands over her when he is bathing her;
he spends money on her to keep her happy;
she is always ready and rearing to go whenever he calls on her
AND
he keeps her in our garage so she is there whenever he needs her.



*SIGH*


did he think i wouldn't find out about her...???
he doesn't care that he is seen in public with her and even takes her to our friends' place to show her off.
he has even arrived at the kids school with her.

he told me about her before this "thing" between them ever started.
he told me he had seen her in the street and couldn't stop thinking about her.
he did warn me that something was about to start between them.
and i guess i kind of encouraged it.
after all....i just want him to be happy.

i have managed to catch them together with my camera.
(see below)
if you look closely at the picture you can see the love in his eyes for her.
look at the way he is looking down at her as her gently caresses her to make her happy.
look how devastatingly handsome he looks as he prepares to take her out, just the two of them.




i don't know where this "thing" will end between the two of them.
i just want him to be happy and she makes him happy.
i pray that she won't end up hurting him.
but ultimately it is his decision to be with her.

have a happy day girls
(did i fool you....???)

~*~ shazz ~*~
xox

p.s. i think this might make a good pic and journalling for a LO.