ALL ALONE....WELL......KINDA...!!!

*SIGH*.......I am sitting here all alone....well not really.
Kait is sleeping on the lounge and my two "shadows", Molly and Tilly, are at my feet (I could do without the farting though thanks Miss Molly - EWWWW!!); Matt and Jake are at an Under 18's concert in Ballina and Mark is working late AGAIN. He ducked into home for a quick bite to eat, we discussed his great-aunt's funeral that we attended today, we talked about what we need to organise for the wedding we are attending this weekend and then he was gone again.
I KNOW the business needs this contract, I KNOW it is almost finished and ready for an upload, I KNOW he isn't stressed like he was when we had the dealerships; I KNOW he loves what he does but boy.....am I over these long hours. I miss having him around, the kids miss their Dad being at home - Kait especially - I hate having to make all the decisions regarding the kids and the house and our lives because I hate to bother him with such trivialities like bills, leaky toilets, etc. I hate the fact he is just so tired when he gets home that he sits on the lounge to unwind and he is still there hours later because I hate to wake him once he is asleep and getting some well-earned rest.
Oh dear......well that's my whinge and whine out of the way. We are luckier than a lot of families out there who are struggling to make ends meet. At least we can pay our bills, put food on the table and I can still have the occasional scrapping shopping splurge and not feel too guilty about it. For all these things and the love of my family I am so very grateful.
As I said, my boys have headed off to an Under 18's concert tonight. Initially I said they couldn't go as I wasn't taking them and I don't know the boy who Matt has organised to bring them home again but after they called Mark and discussed things calmly with him, as opposed to their over-protective Mum, off they went.
I never thought that I would be so nervy and over-protective about them when the time came for them to start driving and be driven around by friends. Losing any of my children in a car accident is my absolute greatest fear in life. I have witnessed the devastation first-hand that comes with losing a child and I would not wish that kind of pain and grief on my worst enemy. Just stay safe guys. I hope the lessons we have drummed into them as they have grown up about not getting into cars with friends who have been drinking or taking drugs, or who they know are silly behind the wheel has sunk in. Please dear God protect my boys. Oh dear......that's all a bit grim.
On a brighter note I FINALLY got Mark's canvases finished that were supposed to be for him for Father's Day. I am so chuffed with them and I hope that he will be too. I hid them in the cupboard with his socks and undies so when he came home from work and got changed he would find them. ROTFL......he came home, didn't get changed and hasn't found them as yet. I hope Mr Blogger is being nice and letting me upload pics again in the next few days so I can share them.
Well that's all for now. You can wake up and turn off your computers now......LOL
~Shazz~

DO I NEED A NOTE...???

It has been a while. We have had a household full of ill children. Kait started vomiting on Wednesday night about 11 p.m. and by 3 a.m. we were so concerned that we called the hospital, only be told that there were no beds in A&E for her, no beds in kids ward and the best they could offer us was to sit in the waiting room with her and they would monitor her. YEAH RIGHT !!!!! By 7 a.m. Thursday she was only vomiting ever hour or so and gradually through the day she managed to keep down more and more water and a small amount of apple juice. It was terrifying to see just how much weight she had lost by Thursday night and Mark was so shocked when he got home from work.
I FINALLY got all the sheets, towels, dirty clothes washed, folded and ironed today.
Friday I had my hair done (lighter colour and some blonde streaks which I am SO loving the look of) and asked Mum to come up and look after Kait for me. You would swear I had asked Mum to cut off her right arm. I will know next time just to change my appointment rather than ask her to do anything for me.
Jakey started throwing up Friday night so it was another night of broken sleep. I don't miss that part of having children I can tell you.
Both the kids are both on the mend. The big challenge now is to get Kaitlyn eating again and hopefully put some of the weight back on that she dropped. She was so disappointed to miss her friends party on Saturday - she had even bought new party clothes to wear but I have promised that she can get together with Lily in the second week of the holidays.
Well my mighty Tigers have done it.....!!!! Into the Grand Final next Sunday. And just how excited was I. Mark was at a soccer presentation so it was only Jakey and I up watching the game. Jake was more amused at watching me squealing and jumping up an down in my seat than watching the game. I can only hope against hope the boys haven't hit their peak but it will be a great game. Would be fantastic to have been able to get tickets to go.
Today I scrapped a couple of journals for........well....that's a surprise.....LOL. I am looking forward to actually scrapping some LOs soon. There always seems to be something else to do. With Christmas looming I am trying to get myself organised and get some gifts scrapped early. After being so ill last Christmas, I would ove to avoid that last minute rush.
Enough of a rant for now.
~Shazz~

"HUMP DAY" - LOL

My darling step-Dad (miss you everday Pa) used to call Wednesdays "hump day" - I always thought it was a tad rude and honestly thought when I was younger that Wednesdays was when you had sex......OMG....how naive was I......LOL But hey....if I tell Mark what Wednesdays are really for well.....you just never know......LOL
I posted off my CJ for Craft Attic DT CJ today. Don't know that I am all that happy with it but that's what I get for changing my topic late last week when the posting day was last Friday. Well it's done now.
I went off to the gym again today. My knee is playing up again and I am glad I have done my three sessions for this week and I will be able to just do some light exercise for the next few days. Monday is weigh-in day.......EEK !!!!!....not expecting much of the lard to have disappeared though..
Paid our tax bill today........my hand shook having to write a cheque that big and then was told by the bloody accountant that he had got the amount wrong and we owed ANOTHER $4000. Bloody hell.......I am so sick of paying tax. Who said having a trust fund was a good thing....???
Off to work tomorrow....I am hoping that my warranty payments have arrived so I can call them off the books. The company we deal with is so random with their payment schedule. Will be good to spend the day at work with Tracey again....we always manage to have a good laugh.
Matt worked 7 hours out at the Macadamia plant today. He hasn't said much about it though.
Kait and Jakey are counting down the days until school holidays start. I must admit I love the holidays too.....no school run although the after-school training runs will still go on for a few more weeks yet. Kait has lots of things on "her list" that she wants to do.
Well thats it for another day.
Until next time.....take care everyone.
~Shazz~

"not much of anything" kinda day

Today was just another day. Mark took Kait off to school for me this morning as he had to take my car in to get the damage fixed that I caused when I took it 4WDing in the floods. I look at that part of the road that has been washed away (and STILL NOT FIXED 3 mths later!!!) and can't believe that I am alive or that I didn't get hurt. Scary stuff.
I went off to the gym - man was it busy. I think we are all emerging from our winter hibernation and discovering how tight our summer clothes are.
I received my "Relay for Life" kit - I am looking forward to participating in it. Not only because I will be particiapting with a great group of ladies but because it will be my way of remembering Pa and his battle with cancer. I suspect more than one of us will do our laps in tears.
I am sorry I will be missing The Craft Attic retreat but unfortunately I had committed to the Relay before the retreat was announced.
I hope to scrap tonight as I have a CJ due to be sent out..... er......today actually......LOL. Not a good start to a new CJ group but I did change my topic last Thursday and have had to start from scratch again. Oh well, it will get done I am sure.
Kait's school had Pizza Day today. Years 4, 5 and 6 are away on their Canberra excursion and Di, Kait's teacher and Sue, the K/1 teacher decided to treat the kids that were still at school. I offered to deliver the pizzas and I felt like Santa Claus when I arrived at school with them. All the kids came running up to the fence, cheering and clapping. It was so funny. The kids all enjoyed their pizzas anyway and have asked when another one will be held. A great way to raise a bit of money - we made $30.00 just from the pizza sales, which is no mean feat for our little school.
Anyways, time to head off and do the veges for dinner.
Thanks for reading if you are still here
~Shazz~

BEAUTIFUL DAY.

What a gorgeous spring day it was today. The strong winds have gone and although the gardens and pavers are a mess from the leaves that have accumulated on them, it was so nice just to be outside and watching the kids race the billycart up and down the street (well with my hands over my eyes and peeking through.....LOL) I love living in a cul-de-sac and most of the people who live at the end of the street know to look, not only for our kids but all the others in the street too.
Matt, Jake and Kait had the best time with their cousins Eden and Zac. The boys all piled into Matt's room last night (now devoid of a bed until we buy him a new one) + Matt's friend Nick and watched DVDs all night. Eden and Kaitlyn played board games and danced to CDs. It's so great to see them all getting on.
I managed to do most of the housework by 9.30 this morning and I clippered Mark's hair so I was hoping that the rest of the morning would be spent scrapping. Don't know why I only managed to do half an hour but I hope to get back into my scrap room tonight. And I was not happy with what I did do so I will have to rethink my strategy for the LO I think.....hmmmm
Mark and I watched "The Best of the Footy Show 2004" DVD this afternoon. I laughed so hard I fell off the lounge and tears were streaming down my cheeks. Mark was laughing just as hard. If you ever need a "pick-me-up" get a copy and watch it. That "Vomitron" segment is just hilarious.
Then I watched my MIGHTY TIGES beat the Broncos in the footy. I was home alone when the game was on so I was happy dancing around the loungeroom and squealing with delight - don't know what any passers-by must have thought. And I don't much care.....LOL. Fingers crossed that we beat the Dragons next week and then onto the Grand Final........gotta be happy with that.
Back to the gym tomorrow. I was naughty and only went twice last week but hoping to get back into a routine AND back walking now that the weather is warming up and the mornings aren't so dark when the alarm goes off at 5.45 a.m.
Hope you all have a great tomorrow.
~Shazz xo

What a wild and windy night we had last night. It is the very first time since moving here that Mark and I have actually had concerns about the gum trees that surround us on three sides. They were groaning and creaking for most of the night. Thankfully all the limbs stayed where they should be - in the trees - but it made for a long night as we lay awake listening to them creak away.
I took Matt down to visit the "new" girlfriend this morning and while he was "visiting" I went and saw Di, my SIL and had a coffee with her. Di and I have so much more in common than just marrying two brothers. We are both "Southies" (South Lismore girls), Di was one of my sister's friends at school and our MIL hates us both....LOL. It was so good catching up and having a good old chin wag with her. Goeff, Di, Mark and I don't get together as often as we should or would like but we always have a great time when we do.
I took Kait shopping for some clothes today. She chose a new skirt and top, some boxers and got a couple of little bra and knicker sets (my boobs are gonna be big like yours soon Mum" she informs me) and also a nice little pair of dressy flip flops. I was adding it up to see if I had the cash in my wallet to buy them or if I had to use the plastic and when I said out loud "$55.00 - I will have to use the plastic" she looked up at me and smiled and said "But worth every cent Mum". And yeah....she's right...SHE IS!!
I have brought my nephew Zac and my niece Eden back to stay the night with us. The kids all get on so well and Zac has gone off soccering with the lads and Eden and Kait have asked for a Maccas and DVD night - too easy.
Am hoping to scrap tonight as the day didn't produce any time for scrapping. Between housework, chauffering, shopping and catching up on emails - the day just seemed to escape me.
Until next time

Shazz xo

Been A While

Well despite my good intentions of "blogging" every day I have managed to miss a few - no excuses though.....it just got pushed to the bottom of the list of "things-to-do".
I have managed to get some scrapping done in the past few days - I have three canvases that I had every intnetion of completing for Mark for Father's Day but as usual my intentions stayed just that....intentions. But I have completed the two of the boys and will have the one of Kait done by tomorrow afternoon. Has been hard working on them when Mark is at home as he often brings me a coffee down in my scrapping room so I had to be careful that he didn't see them.
Kait had a TBall carnival today. Took some great shots of her which was difficult seeing she was just so out of sorts today. She did brighten up this afternoon once she received an invite from her friend Lily to a pool party next weekend. She is really looking forward to that.
I was amazed however at the rudeness that some of the children from the other schools displayed....the language and attitude that came out of their mouths was shocking and to have their teachers and parents standing there and not say a thing was even more so.
So I took off my "parent helper hat" and put on my "teacher hat" and let fly. I won't profess to our little school of 84 not having it's fair share of problems and difficult kids but at least most of the kids show a level of respect to adults, their parents and teachers. One little "darling" from another school was tripping our kids over as they ran past between bases, swearing at them ("You call that a F*CKIN' hit - and I kid you not here people) and generally being a very unpleasant little boy - and we are talking a 10 yr old child here. So I sent him from the field......next I had his teacher over telling me that I couldn't send "his" pupil from the field and a "discussion" ensued. Thankfully Kait's principal came over and defended me as I wasn't the only person who had witnessed this little boy's behaviour. I was just dumbfounded that this kid (and others too I might add) were swearing in full earshot of their teacher and the teacher did nothing about it !!!!!
Aside from that....Kait had a great day - hit some home runs (or "homers" as the kids called them....LOL), got some people out, socialised with some friends and I did my fair share of socialising with the other Mums too......lots of laughs and a chance to catch up on all the goss.
Matt has fallen madly in love again.....I get to meet the young lady tomorrow when I drive him to watch her play netball. He still hasn't found work and Mark and I have told him that he needs to find "direction" in his life or he will have to go back to school. Naturally that was well received by him..........NOT !!!! he is keen to get his licence now so maybe that will give him something to focus on.
Jakey received his SNAP test results on Wednesday. He scored in the top 2% in the State. Naturally we are so proud of him but he takes it all in his stride - he's just that kind of kid.
Anyways, that's my lot for this blog. Thanks for reading if you got this far.
Til next time

~Shazz~

Out of sorts

I had every intention of posting yesterday but it was just one of those days when I wanted life to move at a certain speed but the world seemed to be going in slow motion.
I went off to the gym but it was pushing jelly uphill with a toothpick trying to get myself motivated and the harder I tried to get myself into that "this is fun" mindset the more my brain said "Pass the Timmy Tams".
Today was much the same but I guess the one saving grace is that it is a 30 minute workout and then that's it for the day. The girls are all so encouraging and inspirational down there though and there is none of that "look at me" mentality there.
It wasn't until I was cooking dinner last night that I realised that yesterday would have been my darling Nana's 84th birthday had she still been with us. I always cooked Nana dinner on her birthday or took her out for lunch which she loved. She loved getting all tizzied up, putting on her beads and throwing on a bit of lippie and allowing me to treat her to a slap up lunch somewhere. Just so you know Nana, I think of you often, I love you and I miss you. I would give anything to have just one more moment with you just to feel your arms around me and to tell you how much I love you. I am sure that you know, wherever you are that you are the reason for my still being here and for my being able to cope with certain things in my life. And I am sure with all my heart that you know that I love you and miss having you in my life.
Well, Matt has left school - for good this time. I was devastated when he made the decision last week and he knew it too. He tried talking to me about it but I didn't really want to hear what he had to say. Hence more friction and fighting in the house. Things came to a head yesterday morning and Mark left for work without saying goodbye, Matt locked himself in his room, and I just cried buckets and buckets of tears.
So I took my eyes off myself for a moment and I have now realised that we brought this young man up to make his own decisions, to be independent and to seek the best out of life for himself. And he believes that is what he is doing. So who am I to challenge that. After calmly talking things over last night, I have accepted that he has to walk the path he has chosen for himself and no matter how much I try I can't hold his hand, nor walk that path for him. But.........I will be walking a few steps behind him to help him up when he falls - that's what we Mum's do you know.
Anyway on that note, this saga is over and if you are still reading, thanks to all of you who have been nice enough to comment.
~Shazz~

Lazy Day

What a great day.....Mark and I crawled out of bed to watch the Hewett/Federer clash at 5 a.m. which Lleyton unfortunately lost. I went back to sleep for an hour about 8 a.m. - BIG MISTAKE. It has taken me all day to shake off that awful "too much sleep" hangover you get.
The rest of the morning was spent in my jimmie-jams, just pottering around the house - doing short bursts of housework and just hanging out with Mark and the kids - JUST PERFECT. It's days like this, when we are all together as family - no rushing, no fussing and lots of conversation and fun and laughter - I wish I could bottle and keep forever.
Mark, Matt and Jakey headed off for some soccer spectating after lunch and Kait and I just hung around the house a bit more until it was time to head off to see Willie Wonka.
Don't know what I expected as I loved the "original" with Gene Wilder so much as a kid and relived it many more times as an adult when the three kids watched it. But it was great. Johnny Depp was exceptional (he was so quirky and I love that kind of humour) as was the little boy who played Charlie - such an expressive little face. And Kait was quoting huge chunks of it on the way home in the car and in my opinion that is ALWAYS a great indicator that a movie is a hit with the kids. So if anyone is reading this, I highly recommend it.
Mark and Jake headed off to see "Stealth" tonight and said it was great. Mark's praise of the movie may have a bit to do with Jessica Biel starring in it.....HMMMMMM
As for scrapping today well..... at this point in time, it has been a non-event today - oh well.
I am off to the gym tomorrow for my 30 minutes of huff and puff. Still not happy with the lack of success in moving any of this lard arse of mine but to be fair to the gym program and the gorgeous girls who are so motivating and positive there, my eating habits may have a lot to do with it. I know when I put that third biscuit in my mouth with my morning coffee that I shouldn't but will power has never been a strong suit with me. I promise myself I will try and be stronger and I KNOW I can do it - remember the 10 kgs you lost a few years ago woman !!!!! - and I can remember how good I felt.........
WILL POWER WOMAN !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Get some, keep it and start to live again......not merely exist.
Until next time

Shazz xo

Thanks to Shari, Ali and the oh-so fabulous Miss Marie for their lovely comments.

Trial and Error.

So let me see....does this add another entry...????
Fancy someone as tecnologically challenged as me trying to do this.....GEEZ

FINALLY - A PRODUCTIVE DAY

FINALLY - a productive day in terms of scrapping. I have got so much stuff in my stash and no will power to stop shopping for new things. But I am determined to stop shopping and start scrapping. I literally have little or no room in my tiny scrapping space to fit anything else and what is there is a bloody mess.
I had another bout of insomnia last night. I went to sleep at 11.30 and was wide awake by 3.00 a.m. I was so cross and so confused as to what is keeping me awake. I don't want to resort to sleeping tablets again. The addiction I developed to them after Pa died was hard enough to kick. So thank God for the cricket, the tennis and some unwatched videos - I didn't have to resort to the ironing as is usually the case when I have insomnia.
Jakey and Kait had a haircut this morning and we were home by 9.30 which was great. Always glad to catch up with Cherina and Danielle and I am looking forward to having my streaks done and hair coloured in a few weeks time. Lots of gossip to catch up on and laughs to be had.
Matt arrived home this morning with a Maccas bacon and egg burger as a form of apology for our fight last night. At least he accepted that he was in the wrong. When I argue with him I sometimes wonder who is the adult one of us. He shows the same clear logic as Mark when we argue and it frustrates the hell out of me. I frequently just lose it with him and that just leaves both of us sad and angry at each other. I just hope he finds his feet soon and some direction in his life. It is so bloody hard to sit back and allow him to make his own mistakes and life choices. But that's what growing up and becoming an adult is all about I guess. I miss him needing me and coming to me for advice. I miss him being my little boy who would just walk up and cuddle me for no reason at all.
Mark had to go to work this afternoon to ghost some drives for a client. He hates having to work the hours that he does- I hate it, Matt hates it, Jakey hates it but Kaitlyn seems to hate it most of all. I am glad that he took the time to take her to the park today and as much as I would have loved to have gone with them (great photo op the park) they really need that time together as father and daughter.
Anyway....enough of a rave. Not that I expect anyone to be reading this let alone commenting.
Until tomorrow

Shazz xo