FRIENDSHIP

What an elusive thing is this thing we call friendship.
Some people go through their lives happy to have aquaintances that are in their life for only a brief moment in time. Circumstances have brought these people together and they enjoy the friendship for what it is. They don't want the complication of a deep and lasting friendship with these people. And I have been an aqauintance to people during my life and I have had aqauaintances in my life too.
Others have many friends who come and go in their lives, always leaving a part of themselves behind when they leave. Sometimes what they leave are beautiful memories of a time spent with each other. Other times the parting is sad and angry and bitter and both people are forever changed because of the friendship and the way it ended.
And still others are happy to have a handful of lifetime friends that they can rely on no matter what. If one of them is going through a really rough time, the other will be there to comfort and support them. No demand is made on that person to "get over it". With the love and support of a close lifetime friend, most people can cope with whatever life throws at them, knowing that the friendship they share will be there.
What throws me, each and every time it happens, is when a friend just disappears from your life for no apparent reason. Your phone calls go unanswered, your emails and SMS's are ignored. You spend so much time and energy going over the last time you spoke or were together and you can't remember if you did or said anything that was hurtful or nasty. All you want is a chance to find out what went wrong and a chance to apologise if you have said or done the wrong thing.
Friendship lost like this is the hardest of all to bear. It is like losing someone through death because nothing you do can bring them back.
So you bite the bullet and jump in your car and go around to see them. The unanswered knock at the door as you see the curtains move is like the final death knell of the friendship. In my heart of hearts I know that this friendship is over. I know I have done everything to find out what went wrong. But it is those unanswered questions of what did go wrong that will eat away at my heart for probably the rest of my life.
I know that you read my blog, my friend. I just hope you can look back over our years of friendship and love and let me know what went wrong. It is not beneath me to say I am sorry if I have done or said the wrong thing. I hope it is not beneath you to contact me one last time and let me know what went wrong.
You were such an important part of my life for so many years and we shared so much together.
Be happy my friend, wherever your life takes you. What we have shared will take a lifetime to forget.

~Shazz~