...am i so out of sorts this week...???
- is it because i have had to work every day after such a tiring weekend...???
- is it because i haven't been able to scrap...???
- is it because i have had my dad and step-mum staying with us and despite loving them dearly it has been draining trying to cope with dad's depression and with my step-mum's slightly over-bearing attitude to dad.
- is it my shock at finding out that a dear friend has lied to me about certain things in the past and i haven't yet been able to confront her despite her being so angry at her that i have ignored phonecalls, emails and sms messages from her for the past few weeks.
- is it realising that no matter how hard i have tried i will never "fit into" certain groups that i thought i wanted to be a part of.
- is it the death of another young man on our roads that has brought back such painful memories and nightmares of losing our friends' daughter in similar circumstances a few years ago.
- is it mark's mother's condescending attitude and need to ridicule me in front of others that is wearing so bloody thin after 26 years.
whatever has me so out of sorts and angry and frustrated and sad,
i wish it would just go away.
i have tried so hard to be thankful for the blessings in my life and i have tried so hard to put on a happy face for mark and the kids.
i have smiled through gritted teeth at customers at work who have been so demanding and so pig-headed about things (what idiot invented the adage "the customer is always right"? - because i am here to tell you, it ain't true...!!!)
i have tried to be patient with dad as he struggles to adjust to life as a retiree.
maybe i do need to crawl into my scrapping room and lose myself in the art that i love.
i am sorry if i have depressed any of you with this post but i have let my anger and frustrations and sorrow build up to almost bursting point and getting it out here on my blog, i will admit, has helped.
have a great day ladies.
i hope when i blog again i will be in a better frame of mind and have some work to share
~*~ shazz ~*~
- is it because i have had to work every day after such a tiring weekend...???
- is it because i haven't been able to scrap...???
- is it because i have had my dad and step-mum staying with us and despite loving them dearly it has been draining trying to cope with dad's depression and with my step-mum's slightly over-bearing attitude to dad.
- is it my shock at finding out that a dear friend has lied to me about certain things in the past and i haven't yet been able to confront her despite her being so angry at her that i have ignored phonecalls, emails and sms messages from her for the past few weeks.
- is it realising that no matter how hard i have tried i will never "fit into" certain groups that i thought i wanted to be a part of.
- is it the death of another young man on our roads that has brought back such painful memories and nightmares of losing our friends' daughter in similar circumstances a few years ago.
- is it mark's mother's condescending attitude and need to ridicule me in front of others that is wearing so bloody thin after 26 years.
whatever has me so out of sorts and angry and frustrated and sad,
i wish it would just go away.
i have tried so hard to be thankful for the blessings in my life and i have tried so hard to put on a happy face for mark and the kids.
i have smiled through gritted teeth at customers at work who have been so demanding and so pig-headed about things (what idiot invented the adage "the customer is always right"? - because i am here to tell you, it ain't true...!!!)
i have tried to be patient with dad as he struggles to adjust to life as a retiree.
maybe i do need to crawl into my scrapping room and lose myself in the art that i love.
i am sorry if i have depressed any of you with this post but i have let my anger and frustrations and sorrow build up to almost bursting point and getting it out here on my blog, i will admit, has helped.
have a great day ladies.
i hope when i blog again i will be in a better frame of mind and have some work to share
~*~ shazz ~*~
6 comments:
Awww darlin, I am sorry that you are having such a black week.
You know, you don't NEED to fit in with anyone else. You should just be you -- the best person you can be, and it you don't 'fit', that's ok. You have LOADS of people who love you.
26 years of crap from MIL ?? OMG, that's horrendous ! You don't HAVE to put up with that, and the fact that you have for so long makes you a bloody saint as far as I am concerned. My ex-MIL was the same, but after a couple of years I decided I wouldn't take it anymore. I chose to never be anywhere she was, and ban her from my home. It wasn't nice, but at least I didn't have to feel like complete CRAP every time I was around her.
Go lock yourself in your scrap room and chill out for a while. Or go have coffee and cake with a girlfriend. Do something to make yourself smile -- you need it !
HUGS
Just wanting to send you some warm fuzzy hugs to help you feel a bit better about things. :)
Argh, why didn't you tell me! You silly sausage! You know I'm nearly always here on the pc. I'll email you.
love, Marie
Hey Shazz - I hope that you've been able to do some creating since this post - it always helps I find!! Or screaming at the top your lungs!!!
Oh Shazz I hope you are feeling much better. So many of the hard things in life can get too much for us.
Trish
I hear ya babe!!!! My reasons might not be the same but my feelings are the same this week!!!!
I hope things are looking up for you this week!!! :)
(*(Hugs)*)
Michelle
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