LOST

i am a little lost at the moment....i have some fairly heavy stuff happening to and around me and i am just not coping at all with it.
and everything is suffering - mark, the kids, the house (resembles downtown baghdad at the moment), my scrapping, my health and ....well...i guess, just everything.
but i will get through it and with the help of dear friends like the gorgeous marie, who lifts me up when i am feeling so low - this to, will pass.

matt starts his first night at work tonight...in fact i just made his "lunch" and he is about to head out the door. he hasn't had much sleep to be doing a 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. shift but i guess he will learn that he needs to sleep before he goes off to work. i just hope he drives carefully to and from work - it is cold and dark and VERY foggy.

my good friend, the gorgeous karen ridgeway, is now holding online classes.
check it out here.
i have signed up and despite being very nervous about it all - i have never done an online class before but karen assures me i will be "safe" in her VERY capable hands. i am really looking forward to it and can't wait to learn a few of her secrets to scrapping in her unique and gorgeous style.

despite feeling BLAH about my scrapping the past few days i have managed to scrap a few los. i am on a challenge to scrap 20 los before i go shopping again - i might have snuck a few pieces of bazzill in today though.
*naughty naughty shazzie*
i can't share all the los but here is one that i am happy with - i think....!!!


I just can't find "my style" and it is driving me insane. i look at what others have done and try and copy it. i don't know whether it is because i have so much old stuff in my stash that my los look old and stale; or whether i just don't have the knack or what the bloody hell it is.
and it is driving me insane.
(and NO.....this is not a fishing expedition for compliments....!!!)
i will happen on it one day and this will all be a bit of a giggle....but for now it is sending me
CRAZY...!!!

and now dear readers, if you are still awake, i hope that you all have a happy day tomorrow.
i have to work but that's ok...i like the people i work with and the boss is a bit of a spunk too
*WINK*

~*~ shazz ~*~

p.s. if you want to read an incredible piece of writing you need to have a look here.
doesn't this gorgeous girl have such a beautiful way with words...???
she never fails to make me feel happy/sad/nostalgic with her words.
and she ain't a bad scrapper either.

WINTER WARMTH

we kept the fire burning all day today - it was cold and wet and great snuggling weather
(had a lovely snuggle after lunch with mark and fell asleep in his arms - doesn't get much better than that)

i didn't step foot outside all day except to drag some plants out onto the front landing for a drink of rainwater.

managed to get some scrapping done
(in between loads of washing and folding)
and miss kait even scrapped a page too which i will share when it dries.

i am not happy with a layout i completed of kait
(it is heading for a radical makeover);
completed my "inspiration" layout for tca
(sorry about the gross pics but i thought they were an important part of jakey's life and were a story that needed to be told);

Page 1

Page 2

and completed a second layout of kait that i think i like but won't share just yet.
i am still really really struggling to find my "style" but while i search for it i am recording our family history.
i was looking for my new album this morning
(LOVE my d ring album and now need to get another one)
and i found miss kait lying on the loungeroom floor with it, pouring over all the pages -reading the journalling and just loving it.
and isn't that what it's all about....???

my scrapping is about being a creative outlet for me
(more a trickle than a raging torrent at times though);
it's about my obsession with having my kids know how i feel about them when the words just won't come; it's about making sure the images and thoughts and feelings of our family are recorded so future generations can know who were are and what we were all about.
but most of all it is about my darling baby girl, lying on her tummy on our loungeroom floor, giggling over the pictures and words of our life.

in the words of master spunk, jon bon jovi
"HAVE A NICE DAY"

that's all folks

~*~ shazz ~*~

p.s. "GO THE SOCCEROOS...!!!"
it has been like christmas eve here tonight with mark and the boys waiting for the game to begin. jakey has headed off to bed to catch some sleep before he gets up to watch it.
they spent dinner tonight speculating on the outcome of the game and the "what ifs".
i must admit i have allowed myself to think "what if we beat brazil...???"
how excitement would THAT be...???

JUST A QUICKIE

bought myself a d ring album the other day when i snuck a visit into the scrap yard at burleigh on the way to taking jo to see the specialists at southport (just a check up and she is doing fine)

i was shocked to discover that, once i filled it with my already completed layouts, i now need another one.
and here i was thinking i wasn't doing much scrapping at all.

the layouts i did for tca are finally up on the site so now i can share them here. i am really pleased with the way they turned out.

i love this pic of matt, playing his guitar of course.
it shows his gorgeous long eyelashes and that look of loving what he is doing mixed with a look of concentration.
no wonder the girls scream wildly when he plays on stage.
(does that sound at all like the comments of a totally biased mum...???)

and this is the layout of our darling baby girl, kaitlyn
(she hates me calling her that but she will always be my baby girl).
the challenge was to use the product we were given (i got GinX coasters) in a variety of ways.
i hand-cut the pp "curls" and journalled around the outside of the curls and on the photo - first time i have ever journalled on a pic.
even though you can't see her face clearly it is one of my favourite photos of her. i get positively teary when i look at it actually.

and the great news is that matt FINALLY has some work. he will be cleaning and loading and unloading shipping containers at "macaz" - one of the local macadamia processing plants. i am sure it will give him a sense of direction now instead of the aimlessness he has had these past few months.
it won't be easy work - "cold and tiring" is how he described it when he got home this morning at 3 a.m. but it is honest work and he will get fair pay for the work he does.

well time to light the fire and get dinner started.
i hope to get some scrapping done tonight.
enjoy the rest of today

~*~ shazz ~*~
xo

p.s. the insomnia was back again last night.
being woken by matt arriving home i guess didn't help.
fingers crossed that sleep will be my friend tonight.

SO OVER IT !!!!

it is 3.30 a.m. AGAIN and i am so over this little bout of insomnia i am having at the moment.
i have tried herbal sleeping tablets; having a wine with dinner; no coffee after 5 p.m.; relazation exercises; meditation; evry bloody thing i can think of.
this is the 4th night of it and i am exhausted...!!!
(even nodded off at my desk at work yesterday - how embarrassing. although it gave shayne, our workshop manager lots of joke ammo for the day *blush*)

if it wasn't so cold in my scrapping room i would go down there and at least make my sleeplessness productive in some way.
today i have to give blood which always drains me and then we are supposed to be going out for dinner tonight to farewell a friend who has just been accepted into the police force. i'll probably fall asleep in my pasta !!!

*SIGH*
just wish i could shut off my brain - turn off the millions of things racing around up there. make my thought processes stop. find the ability to be less of a worrier than i am.
ok...raving now....better sign off !!!!

i hope you all have a great day
and sorry about the whinge

~*~ shazz ~*~

HOLIDAY MONDAY

the sun was shining today but it was still chilly. i did manage to get through the mountain of laundry though - it was a good drying day. now i just have to tackle the ironing that seems to have adopted a rather successful breeding program in the basket on the front loungeroom floor.

i finished a lo i started yesterday.

it is a pic i found of matt with his godparents and our great mates, graham and skip (a.k.a. ruth) taken after a soccer game in brisbane in 2004. i am very happy with the lo - "now that's a turn up for the books" i hear you say.
i have been suffering a real crisis of confidence with my scrapping at the moment. looking in mags and at online galleries hasn't helped at all. just made me sad.
i am sure i will get over it though. mark has helped heaps by saying if i didn't start believing in myself and my work, i could give the Scrap Heap SWIG a miss....!!!!
i told him that he could be the one to ring ruthy and tell her.....lol

i had a great few hours shopping with erica yesterday. i bought some scrapping goodies (ac ribbon sets i didn't have plus some crocheted motifs that were half price - told you erica was a good bargin shopper AND i got 10% off with a voucher so all in all it was a good days' shopping) + a whole heap of material to make these cool beanie frogs for next years bonfire night for kait's school. we made 16 big ones and three small ones for this year's stall and they all sold out in 1/2 hour.

arrived home to find mark up to his armpits in sh*t - literally. the pipe that runs along the side of the house cracked when the retaining wall collapsed over 12 months ago and every so often it clogs up. we have managed to clear it everytime it has (hence the "up to his armpits in sh*t" analogy) but the whole path needs pulling up, the pipe replacing and while we are at it getting some termite piping laid. big $$$s and the budget doesn't quite stretch that far at the moment. hopefully the temporary measures will last another 6 months. poor mark - what an awful job.

i hope those of you who had a long weekend had a great weekend and that the week ahead is a happy and fulfilling one for you all.
take care

~*~ shazz ~*~

SUNDAY MORNING

just a quick post.

took kait shopping yesterday to buy some badly needed clothes. she needed size 8 - 10 for her height but only size 7 - 8 for her waist. she is such a tiny little thing
(the big weigh-in is next week at the paediatrician)

anyways...we managed to get some yummy chocolatey coloured track pants with pink trims (drawstring waist helped) and a matching pink trackie top and a long sleeved top to match - lots of bling. and she bought another long sleeved top with lots of decoration. i guess i should take a pic of her in them...she looks great. now we just have to find her some jeans to fit her.

she also spent a gift voucher she got for her birthday at the bookstore. she got the second boxed set of "the weather fairies". if anyone knows where i can get hold of the first boxed set i would be very grateful.

i managed to scrap a lo yesterday - not happy with it though.

i think it needs some ribbon across the bottom or something.
any suggestions...???

i am off for a shopping trip to spotlight with my step-mum erica (nanny)this morning. erica has a wealth of sewing and craft knowledge and i love going shopping with her. she has a real eye for a bargin and has some great ideas for using sewing goodies and techniques on layouts. might even sneak in a coffee at the local coffee shop.

enjoy the rest of your day.
i hope you manage to get some scrapping done or whatever else takes your fancy on this long weekend - i know i will be aiming to scrap again this afternoon.

~*~ shazz ~*~

BRRRR

it's cold and wet and foggy and wintery - LOVE IT !!!!!

the house is closed up, the fire is lit, dinner is on, i am in my jimmy-jams and i managed to scrap today and have plans for lots more over the weekend.
here is an album i altered today for the daughter of a friend who is moving interstate to work.

i was inspired by similar albums that the talented jen hall shared on her blog a few weeks back
(although mine isn't anywhere near as good as the ones jen did)
i did enjoy doing it though and a great way to use up some scraps.

considering the family dramas over the past 24 hours (and no....i won't bore you with the whole sordid mess) i am feeling pretty good about my little corner of the world.

drive safely (double demerits don't forget)
laugh, giggle and act a bit silly
and
have a great weekend

~*~ shazz ~*~

MAKE YOURSELF A CUPPA - IT'S A LONG ONE !!!!

my most heartfelt thanks to each and every one of you who has emailed, sms'ed, called and prayed for my sister, jo and for our family over the past few weeks.

i feel like our family can take a collective breath now and move on with life. for the past few weeks our lives have revolved around hospitals and doctors and all things medical - it's time to cast open the curtains and let life back in again.

jo was discharged from hospital on friday, may 26 with a script for oral antibiotics and instructions to go back to the doctor within a week if the lump on her neck had not shrunk. she was quite ill over the weekend and with our encouragement (and mum's insistence) she went back to the doctor on the tuesday.

he sent her for MORE blood tests and an another mri on the lump on her neck. the news wasn't good. she had a second lump on the base of her skull and the specialist wouldn't rule out the possibilty of a tumour. he readmitted her to hospital and told her he would be operating on her on wednesday morning.
for whatever reason he decided to seek a second opinion (and this doctor is one of the most arrogant people i have ever met - my nursing friends who know him say he NEVER seeks second opinions so God knows why he did this time) and emailed jo's results to a neurosurgeon in brisbane at the PA.

wednesday morning he marched into jo's room and told her that she was being transferred to the gold coast hospital and would be seen by the brisbane neurosurgeon that afternoon and possibly operated on that night. naturally we all thought the worst and after much pleading on jo's part, they let her go out to the school to say goodbye to jarrod and to go home to see kye (mum was looking after him) and then brett drove her up to the hospital on the gold coast.
that afternoon she was assessed by not only the neurosurgeon from brisbane but he also had her seen by an ENT specialist as well as a vascular microsurgeon. whatever this thing was in her neck it was nasty and it wasn't going to be an easy op.
she was so ill they delayed the surgery until thursday and they had her back on a drip and pumping her full of antibiotics overnight.

it was the hardest few days of my life - i wanted to be up there with her but brett was the only one who would have been allowed into ICU had she ended up there and i was much more help down here helping with kye and jarrod. plus i was one of the main organisers of the bonfire night for kait's school that was on saturday night (another long story - see further down this post) and i just had to be here.
i spoke to jo briefly on thursday morning and we shed a few tears and said some things that have been a long time in coming. to say that my attention span at work on thursday was not 100% is an understatement. it was the longest day of my life.

jo was in theatre for just on three hours - the lump on her neck was a bronchial cyst with involvement of the major artery running into her brain. the second lump on the base of her skull was a second cyst forming. she was so ill they decided to just drain the cyst this time and when it grows back at a later date, it will have to be removed. she was just too weak this time for them to remove it - the surgeon felt she may not have survived the surgery had he tried to remove it
they drained as much of it as they could and established that there was NOT a tumour underneath it, which is what they suspected. they put a drain in her neck, which came out on sunday. she was on pretty strong painkillers and wasn't very coherent the few times i called so i just let her rest and got brett to give her our love each day when he went up.
the good news is that she arrived home yesterday afternoon - very tired, very skinny but alive. she was so happy to see the boys but went home and went straight off to bed.
the road to a full recovery will be long and the surgeon told her that the cyst will grow back but next time he hopes jo will be strong enough to have the op to remove it.

again i just can't thank each and everyone of you enough for your prayers and support and friendship over the past few weeks. if i could jump on a plane and fly around the country and hug you all one by one i would.
thank you from the bottom of my heart and on behalf of my family, jo and her family too.

as i mentioned before kait's school had their big bonfire night last saturday night. a huge success again despite the security guards having to call the police to deal with some trouble making inebriated teenagers - why can't they just stay away from this family occasion...???
the school only has 87 chidren in it, 4 staff but each year for the past 26 years we have had a bonfire night each june to raise money for the kids. we have fireworks; a produce stall legendary for it's pickles, relishes and craft; a cafe serving freshly made cakes and brewed coffee; a bbq cooked by the parents; rides; entertainment....etc, etc.
this year we estimate we had about 3000 people through the gates and we had banked by the end of the night about $30,000!!!!
not a bad effort for our little country school.
it is a huge undertaking - this year we made and sold 850 dozen lamingtons, we peeled 80 kgs of onions, we made 40 kgs of coleslaw; we cooked and sold over 850 steaks; we mixed and cooked almost 8o kgs of doughnut mix.
this year we were lucky enough to have 55 dozen krispy kreme donuts donated which sold out in record time.
now to add a little bit of excitement to the mix, the P&C president decided on friday that it was a good day to go into labour and have her baby !!!!!
(congrats on the birth of little lyannah may, rondah and justin)
so as P&C VP i was in charge and with the help of jane, rondah's assistant and andrew, our gorgeous and slightly crazy principal, we managed to muddle our way through the night and come out relatively unscathed.
tired and exhausted but happy with our results.
and the good news.....we get to do it all over again next year.....LOL

if you have reached this far into this mammoth post - well done !!!!
not much more waffling to go *wink*

a HUGE congrats to the most gorgeous and talented miss marie and miss ruthy on their appointments to the every moment matters DT. both marie and ruthy are the sweetest girls around and have been a tower of strength to me over the past few weeks. it is a well deserved accolade my dear friends and i am so looking forward to seeing what you guys get up to.
love you both to bits.

last thursday i was shocked, amazed, blown away when this arrived in my mailbox.


thank you so much ruthy....i love it so much and i was so surprised to receive it.
you are such a blessing in my life.

i have also managed to scrap a page this week which i found very theraputic. it is for the craft attic's weekly inspiration - every second week i post an inspiration to hopefully inspire some of the girls to scrap outside their comfort zone.

this week's inspiration was to scrap using purple - my inspiration...??? miss kait has a real "thing" for purple at the moment so i scrapped a purple lo for her - doesn't she look so grown up in this pic...??? it was taken first thing in the morning on her 10th birthday in may.
every other week the very talented kim geling posts a sketch for us to scrap.

and that dear friends....is that.

be happy, stay safe and look for some laughter in your day

~*~ shazz ~*~

GOOD NEWS

i haven't wanted to update my blog because we were literally taking things hour by hour there for a few days last week but the good news is that jo doesn't have cancer (the pathology came back last night); she is coming home today and God willing she will just get stronger as each day passes from now on.

many of you know that she was taken through to the gold coast hospital last wednesday and operated on, on thursday. a lengthy three hour op that seemed to take all day while we waited.
but now at least we have answers - a diagnosis and a treatment and hopefully the road to recovery.

i am so sorry for those of you who have been waiting for news via my blog, and for those of you who have emailed and messaged me. i just couldn't bring myself to answer back in any really coherent way because i was just holding my breath and praying like the dickens that she would pull through ok.

add to that the fact she was in a hospital 2 hours away and i had committments with kait's school that i couldn't get out of and it made for a pretty rough and stressful week for not only me but our entire family.

i will post a longer version of the events later today so if you feel like a bit of a read later, make a cuppa and settle in....

have a fantastic day everyone....the sun seems to be shining a little brighter down my way today, if you know what i mean.

~*~ shazz ~*~

IT IS JUST A WORD !!!!

jo has been re-admitted to hospital and will be operated on tomorrow after some more tests.

the specialist wouldn't tell her the results of the tests this afternoon - he wants her family with her - brett was at home with the boys.

we are all in a little bit of shock because at the moment we are all thinking the worst - but praying so hard that, that one little word won't become a life sentence for her.
i have prayed and cried and tried to be positive. and then cried some more.
it's just so hard at the moment.

i'll keep you all informed and let you know how things pan out.
i can't promise i will be around much in the next few days but i hope with all my heart that i will be back blogging tomorrow night with good news.

~*~ shazz ~*~

WAFFLE WAFFLE WAFFLE

i thought i should update my blog.
i can't thank everyone enough for the messages and emails and support that i have received over my sister jo's illness and hospitalisation. i have been very touched by all your messages.
thank you so much.
i am sorry if you emailed me and i didn't reply. most nights i was just exhausted and just toddled off to bed.

well jo was discharged from hospital late last friday afternoon but with still no clear diagnosis as to what is wrong with her. the specialist said she was probably should have stayed in a few more days but she was well enough to be at home and she was more than ready to go home. she really has missed her boys terribly.
she had bloods taken on tuesday that were sent away to newcastle for some "you-beaut" tests. they showed that she was severely anaemic (sp???) and her white blood cell count was through the roof.
the abscess in her neck hadn't shrunk, even with the antibiotics and that prompted more blood tests on thursday morning.
i am almost fearful to say that they have now started testing her for a tumour.
that one word floored us all - i went to visit her on thursday and we just looked at each other and cried. i am not sure when those tests will be back but she has to call the specialist's office every day to let him know how she is feeling and if the lump in her neck has grown at all. thankfully it hasn't.
if it hasn't shrunk any by this friday he will look at re-admitting her and doing more tests on her and possibly a biopsy.
until then i am thinking the most positive thoughts i can about it all. i am not really sure what else we can do.

saturday morning kait and i headed out to the school and helped at the working bee for next weekend's Bonfire Night. lots of jobs got done that needed doing and it was great to be part of the great group of parents and kids that attend kait's school.
jake had a win at soccer and so did matt. matt probably should not have played as he has a nagging groin injury but he is big enough to make those decisions for himslef now.
saturday night mark, kait and i went to a trivia night organised by our good friends kerrie and graeme - what fun it was and we even managed to come third on the night - NO THANKS to mark and graeme who spent more time drinking bundies than answering questions.
it was a welcome distraction from the stress of the week just passed and good to be out having a good old belly laugh or two with such good friends.

i had a semi-productive day yesterday sewing up some more things for the craft stall at Bonfire Night next week. it has been great getting back into using my machine to actually sew material again. i forgot how much i loved sewing craft things and how theraputic it can be.

yesterday afternoon i scrapped some dt challenge things for tca. several of the girls on the dt were given goodies and we had to use them in 5 different ways.
i am pleased with my results and i will post them on here when i can.
it was so good to be back in the scrapping dungeon (despite it being so bloomin' chilly down there) and i plan to go back down there soon and scrap some more.

anyways...i have washing to hang and a house to vacuum before i get stuck into some more scrapping.
i hope you all have a great week ahead.

~*~ shazz ~*~

THURSDAY

* jo is still in hospital and things are still not right with her.
more tests, more frustration, lots of tears.

*kait had a great ten pin bowling birthday party last sunday. she has such a lovely little group of friends and their mums are are scream. it was a welcome distraction from the dramas of the past week.

* the mighty blues pulled the cliche "rabbit-out-of-a-hat" to topple the maroons.
it was a good game i hear - i was in bed after a phonecall from my mother crumbled my world yet again - it's amazing what can come out of her mouth after a few wines *SIGH*

* i am off to work today - hopefully all my paperwork for the month has arrived and i won't be sitting there twiddling my thumbs.

* i thank God each and every day for the love of my husband, my children and my friends.
the support i have recieved from friends over the past week has been amazing and has given me the strength to get up some mornings when it would have been so much easier to just stay in bed and pull the covers up.

have a great day everyone

~*~ shazz ~*~

UPDATE ON JO

thanks so much for all the emails and messages i have received wishing jo well.

she is still in a lot of pain but FINALLY we think we have a diagnosis.
the ear, nose and throat specialist saw her late thursday night and he says she has a serious staph infection in the gland in her neck that will most probably need surgery to reduce it.
he immediately sent to sydney for some super dooper antibiotic that she has to have before he operates. she has had 5 of the 7 doses she needs before he will operate and he will re-assess her this afternoon.
if she doesn't have this antibiotic and some of the "gunk" (now isn't THAT a good medical term) escapes into her system, she could face getting the infection through her body or in the worse case scenario she could suffer a massive heart attack.
fingers crossed the level of whatever it is in her body is where it should be by this afternoon and he can successfully operate on her and get this bloody mess sorted out.

mum and i took kye up to see her yesterday and there were tears again but he did the right thing and laughed and smiled for her and she fed him his bottle.
she wants me to take some pics of her so she can show kye when he is older just how ill she was - and then she said "and won't they make for a good scrap book page sis !!!"
this from my very non-crafty sister - i just smiled and chuckled to myself.

so that is the latest on poor jo.
she isn't better by any means, but at least we now have some answers and direction with her treatment.
the road to recovery will be a very long one for her i am afraid.

and now i have to shoot off to watch jakey play soccer, do some shopping for the craft day we are having at school tomorrow and hopefully this afternoon shut myself away in my scrapping tomb and get some VERY overdue scrapping done - cj pages, a DT challenge for tca, birthday gifts and some cards made.
have a great day girls and thank so much for all your support.
dare i say it......"I LOVE YOUS ALL"

~*~ shazz ~*~

ROUND AND ROUND THE MULBERRY BUSH

this is my second post for today - i wanted my last post to be a happy post celebrating kait's birthday. she really is our angel.

well....where do i start...??? i am sorry but this is going to be a long post and not a very happy one. now's the chance to leave - you have been warned...!!!

as many of you know my sister jo, is gravely ill in hospital. it all started with three visits to ballina hospital's A&E in 36 hours last friday/saturday/sunday and there has been bungles and dramas ever since.
she left A&E last friday night with a handful of panadol and a diagnosis of "you are the mother of a 6 year old and a newborn and just run down. take these and have a few hours rest"...yeah right!!!
saturday afternoon, after going back to A&E early saturday morning, they took blood, gave her more panadol and told her they thought she had glandular fever - "go home, get some rest and see your GP on monday"
sunday morning at 2 a.m. she stopped breathing and thank god brett, her husband knew CPR, didn't panic and they were actually staying at brett's mum's who lives near the hospital. she was breathing again by the time the ambulance got there. the hospital staff were "surprised" to see here again but seeing she was breathing again and seemed ok, the hospital in lismore said she should stay in ballina because they didn't have a bed for her.
so she was finally admitted to ballina hospital by lunchtime sunday and i went down to see her.
she was so ill and still on the oxygen but seemed in good spirits.

brett stayed at his mum's with jarrod, their 6 year old and kye, the baby. he took kye up so jo could feed him through the day sunday but by sunday night we made the decision that jo needed to rest so we put him on a bottle.
she has fed him a few times since but he has taken to the bottle really well and seems to be content.
it has been so hard on her not to be able to feed kye and some days she was even to sick to even nurse him.

all through the week, jo has swung between feeling ok to being on oxygen and doped up with morphine for the pain. they gave her antibiotics "in case it was an infection" but she didn't seem to be getting any better. in fact she just seemed to be getting sicker and sicker. they now think that one of the antibiotics they gave her has "fed" the infection she has.
each time i saw her, her neck seemed to have swollen up even more.
the nurses in ballina were great but they were at a loss as to what was happening with her.
tuesday her doctor told us he thought she had mumps which sent everyone into a panic.
wednesday we are told she had a massive strep infection that had gone through her body and they even had her on a heart monitor for a few hours.

mum called me early thursday morning to say that she had taken a turn for the worse through the night and that FINALLY they had made the decision that she needed to be transferred through to lismore base.
she was transferred by intensive care ambulance in a serious condition yesterday morning.

after a day in lismore's A&E acute care area with more tests and scans, more oxygen, morphine and prodding and poking she was finally transferred to a ward last night.
i went up to A&E last night and sat with her while brett was at home with the kids.
the physician saw her while i was there and after seeing her tests that were back they have put forward a number of things that it possibly could be (still nothing definite though)
1. toxoplasmosis - which makes NO SENSE AT ALL as you get it off cats and she doesn't have one nor does anyone she knows or...
2. a rare but non-fatal form of TB - where on earth she got that from well who knows.

she also has an abscess on the gland in her neck which explains the swelling which will need surgery to drain it + they suspect she has another abscess on her liver + she is having some "unusual" heart flutters.

so all-in-all she is one very sick little girl - well she is actually a woman of 39 but to me she will always be my little sister.

i rang the ward about 11 last night and they said she was resting comfortably. still on oxygen but the heart monitors had been taken off her.

the few hours i spent with her in A&E were so special.
as sick as what she was, we still managed to have a few laughs and i listened to her as she talked about kye and jarrod and how much she missed them.
as sisters, we haven't sat and talked like that in many many years.
we have issues that go back to when we were kids - as adults we have had too many fights and arguments and harsh words said that can never be taken back. but that was my sister lying in that bed, struggling to breathe and with the scared look of a little girl in her eyes.
the arguments and fights we had seem so silly and insignificant now.
i just want her to be well and back with her babies and her husband.

what happens today in terms of her care and surgery depends on the test results but with every fibre of my being i am praying that she will at least have a diagnosis and will be told just what IS wrong with her, not what they THINK is wrong.

so if you are that way inclined, please say a prayer for her, and for her precious children and for brett and for our extended family. dad and erica are still up here helping care for bob who is doing really well after his op and i think dad has been quite shocked as to just how sick jo really is.
in the past dad has been removed from being "on the frontline" when we have been ill because he lives so far away.
i have made many calls to louise in sydney and brett our brother in perth. it's times like this that the distance between us feels so wide but it has been good to have that support on the other end of the phone.

i will try and post any updates as soon as i can. my heartfelt thanks to everyone who has emailed or messaged me with support.
my little cyber support network is filled with some pretty amazing and special friends.

if you reached the end of this post, well done but with sleep eluding me it was nice to know i had my blog to write things down and get things sorted in my head.

i hope today is a happy day for you and that i have better news soon

~*~ shazz ~*~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL.

my baby girl is a baby no more.

**SOB**
kaitlyn turned 10 on tuesday. i really wanted to post something on tuesday to mark this momentous occasion in her life but things were so hectic and i was exhausted.
so here we are three days later and the amazement of being the mother of this precious little girl is no less for me today than it was three days ago when she reached double figures nor less than it was 10 years ago when i first held her in my arms.
she brings laughter and joy and sunshine and the occasional tears into all our lives.
she makes us laugh with her funny little stories.
she makes us giggle at her insights into life as she sees it.
she makes us cry with the sheer frustration of her medical problems
and she makes us feel so very blessed that we have her in our lives.

"sleepy" hair but still a million dollar smile - happy birthday baby girl.

all smiles as you celebrate at school with a cake

sleep well my angel - i love you

so in the wee hours of the morning, when all my family is sleeping, i give thanks to God for this precious angel being entrusted to my care.
i hope that i have the strength and the heart and the ability to be the best mummy i can be to you my sweet angel.
i hope i can always be there to share in your joys; to wipe away your tears; to protect you; to listen to you when you need to talk; to find the right words when you need advice; to give you hugs and kisses when you need them; and to never let a day go by that i don't tell you just how much i love you and how truly blessed i feel to be your mum.
love you baby girl.
forever and always

~*~ shazz ~*~

STILL KICKING

thanks to those of you who have emailed and asked why i am not blogging...???
have had my hands full with school things; my sister being gravely ill in hospital - and she is still so sick and they STILL don't know what is wrong with her; and my dad and step-mum here to be with my uncle in hospital.
*SIGH* - life can get so so busy and chaotic at times. i feel like i am constantly running a million miles an hour.
throw in a good old dose of insomnia and i am just putting one foot in front of the other and getting through each day at the moment.

on a happier note, our darling kait turned 10 yesterday. where has my baby girl gone...???
she is so grown up and wanting to do all the grown up things that she thinks she should be doing.
hence we took her out to dinner at the local chinese restaurant last night (at her request) - she dressed herself (a sight to behold i can tell you) but she thought she looked gorgeous and being her mum, i looked past the mismatched clothes and colours and saw my sweet baby girl being a confident young lady.
the waitress at the rstaurant was very impressed with her manners and she blew us all away when we left by asking the waitress to tell the cook that she loved what he had cooked for her.
yep...our baby girl is growing up.

anyways...more of an update later + some pics of things....i need to get the kids ready to go to school.

have a great day

~*~ shazz ~*~

UPDATE

jakey had a great 15th birthday. he had 4 of his friends turn up after we had dinner to spend some time with him (i NEVER would have been allowed to visit my friends at 8 p.m. on a school night but times have obviously changed)

they all helped him eat his cake. he has a lovely lot of friends - both boys and girls - although jakey is oblivious to the way the girls look at him. even mark noticed the way the girls look so dreamily jakey but jake just sees them as friends. and that's very sweet i think.
dad and erica were here to have dinner with us which is the first time they have spent a birthday with jakey. they fussed over him (and dad teased him relentlessly) but that is what grandparents are supposed to do.
here are a few pics from his special day.

the best "smile" he could muster for his snap happy mum...LOL

"now let's get a NICE photo of you all"...YEAH RIGHT !!!

with nanny and grandad

we never tire of kisses and cuddles with this gorgeous boy of ours
love you baby

thanks to all of you who sent good wishes to me for my uncle bob. his op was yesterday...a very long op as it turned out. they wheeled him into theatre at 12.30 and he was wheeled into recovery at 5.15.
dad saw him back on the ward last night and bob was fairly out of it but knew that dad and erica were there. being a public patient in a public hospital there wasn't a doctor around at 8.30 when dad saw him to let us know how the op went so we will have to wait for today for any information. all the nurses would say was that he was comfortable and would be given pain meds through the night.

have been flat out organising the mother's day stall for school tomorrow. spent 3 hours at the school yesterday wrapping gifts (and gossiping and laughing) with a great bunch of mums.
just as i was walking out the gate, jackie our school assistant, hands me another huge box of goodies that had been overlooked so i will be busy wrapping after work today. it should be a good stall too - the kids are excited about being able to shop at school for a gift for mum.

and finally it is good see my dear buddy, the gorgeous miss shari back online after so long.
welcome back darls...i look forward to catching up with you again.
love ya

have a happy day, one and all

~*~ shazz ~*~

p.s. we have decided tonight will be our first official night to light the fire.
can't wait to snuggle up in front of it with a coffee and watch the flames.

SHORT AND SWEET.

* jake had a draw in his game of soccer on saturady (3 - 3); matt lost his game (3 - 2); we all froze our butts off on the sideline - it was SOOOOOO cold.

* had dinner with mark's brother, geoff, his wife, di and their kids on saturday night before the game. a nice easy meal, thrown together at the last minute but great company and lots of laughs - as always when we all get together.

* FINALLY got my letter to the parents of our school completed encouraging them to get involved in our annual Bonfire Night - it is HUGE event run by the school each year, brings in well over $25,000 (about $19,000 of that is profit) each year - not bad for a small country school with only 82 kids.
it will take up almost every spare minute i have in the next few weeks. i am the P&C vice president and the president is 8 1/2 months pregnant so a lot of the responsibility has fallen my way.

* spent yesterday making craft items for the mothers day stall - used up some of my scraps of cardstock, patterned papers and ribbon to cover notebooks; used up some flowers decorating little trinket boxes. i will be interested to see how it goes as this is the first year we have had something like this at school.

* my thoughts are very much with the miners at beaconsfield.
so close and yet so far, guys. you must almost be able to smell freedom.
i pray for them, their families, the rescue teams and the town itself.

* my thoughts and prayers are also with little sophie delezio and her family and friends. makes me wonder what part fate plays in our lives.

* my dad and step-mum have arrived to give support to my uncle bob who is having major surgery for bowel cancer on wednesday. dad is not coping very well at all with uncle bob's illness - they are extremely close. more prayers for my uncle bob and a successful outcome from his surgery.

* and finally......to finish off, this time 15 years ago i was waddling off to hospital in the early stages of labour with our darling jakey.
wishing you a very happy 15th birthday for tomorrow, darling boy.
remember always just how precious you are to dad and i, how proud we are of you and how much you are loved by your family.

have a happy tomorrow

~*~ shazz ~*~

as i promised...and if you are interested....a pratten family update.

kinda in point form but an update none-the-less.

* we received a VERY nice photo of the car in the mail last week courtesy of the QLD police force. it was taken just after we left ruthy's house on good friday, where we had been having a good old giggle about getting booked and the excuses we may use for getting out of a fine.
how's THAT for a good old bit of karma biting us on the bum...???
well the short version is that I am going to cop the fine and points because mark can ill afford to lose anymore.

* kait has had a rough week. she had a funny "turn" on wednesday night that almost had me in the car with her and off to A&E.
she is not well again tonight and both mark and i feel that more needs to be done to get to the bottom of what is wrong with her. i will ring bruce purkiss again on monday
(he is the voodoo doctor she saw a month or so back)

* i found out today that our darling gp has decided, after having a few months off, that he will now retire. i was devastated when i found out and i am not sure where to go for our family's medical needs now.
jim mayze was definitely a cut above the rest when it came to GPs.
he was never late in all the years we went to him - early actually, more often than not; it was nothing for him to put his arms around me or one of the kids and give us a cuddle if he thought it was what we needed; he went beyond what most doctors would ever have done to get results - he reprimanded the doctors that treated us so badly when we almost lost kait; he called late on a friday night when mark had appointments with the skin specialists in brisbane just to see how he got on; he held my hand and listened to me when i needed to talk about problems i was having with my mum; and the list goes on.
you will be missed dr jim.
enjoy your retirement.

* i attended the funeral of the dad of a family friend yesterday.
i often find myself quite reflective of life and how i am living my life after a funeral. i found myself thinking of how i would be remembered if i died tomorrow - hopefully as a good mum and wife and a caring friend.
pop's funeral was certainly a celebration of a life well-lived
(pop was 96 when he passed away)


* my sister jo's 8 week old son, kye, has been diagnosed with measles. after initially hitting the panic stations my shock has been replaced by anger.
some well meaning person out there has decided not to immunise their child and now my 8 week old nephew has this potentially life-threatening disease.
whether you agree with immunisation, i don't really care but to see a little 8 week old baby that is so ill just riles me up no end.
add to that the potential complications and all i can say is, for god's sake immunise your kids.

* after almost 12 months of being "MIA" my cj from a group on ASC turned up on my doorstep this week.
I won't go into all the details (you can read all about it here) but needless to say I was over the moon to receive my cj back. it is filled with beautiful quotes and sayings about life. thank you to all those gorgeous girls who scrapped pages for me - marie, trish are two who i know read my blog.
and many many heartfelt thanks to shari, marie and kathie who contacted the person with my cj on my behalf (along with the numerous emails, etc that i sent too).
i don't know that your efforts expedited it's return but i am sure they helped prick her conscience (sp??).

*now some pics to share.

this is a frame i created for my sister jo for her birthday.
the picture was in the paper and i had it printed up and decided to scrap it for her.

again - more prima flowers attached with french knots
(gotta love that technique)
she loved it and i must admit i was pretty pleased with myself when she opened it and threw her arms around me.
the relationship i have with jo is not an easy one and for her to show such emotion is rare but lovely to receive.

well so much for a point form short post...
ROTFL

thanks if you have listened to me waffle on.
three cheers if you made it to the end without nodding off.

have a great weekend
we are off to lennox head tomorrow night for matt's game - he is actually starting as an attacking mid-field (sounds impressive....i think it is...LOL) for the premier side for his club. his two goals last week obviously impressed the right people.
will also catch up with mark's brother and his family which is always good value.

~*~ shazz ~*~

TAGGED !!!

thanks for the tag kathie....thought i better do it before i completely forgot

In my Fridge
all the ingredients for tonight's tacos
easter eggs that the kids are not interested in eating.
low fat milk - 4 litres (must check the use-by dates on them)
dog's mince - i cook them up a big pot of chicken mince and veges each week.
a bottle of champagne (of course *wink*)

In my Closet
kait's birthday presents
my wedding dress
mark's race suit
all my gorgeous jackets i wore when i was teaching and had to do playground duty on those chilly winter days
our christmas tree

In my handbag
my purse
my hemp lip balm
my mobile phone
tampons
"emergency" roll on deoderant

In my car
all my "take-your-own" shopping bags
our fold-up chairs for soccer
umbrellas
spare towels - for wet sweaty soccer bums to sit on.
the dogs' seatbelts

On my DVD / Video player
the latest harry potter movie that the kids got for easter
ella enchanted - kait's favourite movie at the moment
armageddon - which i watched last saturday night while i sewed on a heap of prima flowers onto a frame for my sister's birthday (pics soon)
last sundays episode of csi
maradona - you expected something else from this soccer mad house...???

I am tagging:
whoever wants to be tagged and hasn't been named yet.

i will update my blog later today.
have a great day everyone

~*~ shazz ~*~